Ascension : Ascension Island Football
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 09.05.2013 (Article Archived on 23.05.2013)

Retards vs Raiders

Retards	1	4	Raiders
Robert Yon	HT 1 - 1		Lewis Dewberry MOM: Lyndon Miller

Brave Retards are brushed aside as Dewberry nets four
and Raiders send out a warning to the rest of the league.

The game started very
slow with several half chances, Retards controlling the game and Raiders
struggling to string passes together. Against the run of play, the first shot
of the game came when Mario Ben slipped Corey Anthony through on the left wing
but his shot went wide of Kyle Francis post who was making his senior debut in
goal for Retards. Chris O’Rourke leading the Retards front line broke down the
left, beating Jonah ‘Chicken’ and Simeon ‘Tiddy Bum’ but his shot was also
wide. Ricco ‘Charles’ then had a shot from the half way line which just cleared
Martin Bagley’s bar, after the ball had run clear from a corner. A Raiders free
kick lead to a scramble in the box resulting in Schmichael heading of the line.
Goal. Eugene Bennett the Retards
captain picked the ball up on the right wing and floated the ball over the top
of the defence to O’Rourke who headed it on to Robert ‘Bongis’ who ran into the
area and blasted it pass the oncoming Bagley and from his celebration you could
tell he was fired up for the game. Retards continued to dominate possession, a
decent through ball from ‘Bonkis’ had Bennett in on goal but he couldn’t catch
it and the chance was gone. The miss of the season so far came when ‘Bongis’
collected a loose ball outside his own area and ran through the Raiders midfield,
he then knocked it wide to O’Rourke who beat two defenders and broke into the
box, he squared it to the on rushing Bongis who put it wide on the line.

Goal. Corey
broke down the left wing and slipped Dewy in one on one with Kyle who spread
himself well but Dewy held his nerve to put Raiders level on the stroke of half
time.

Goal. From the
kick off Tyler Benjamin received the ball and dribbled down the right wing and
swung in an inch perfect cross that just missed the leaping head of Ricco and
was met with a sweet left foot volley from Dewy.

Retards restarted the
game and was still enjoying the majority of the possession but Ashley ‘Smokey’
and ‘Ben’ were starting to get an understanding in midfield and Raiders began
to look more settled. Bennett collected the ball in the centre circle and fed
it to ‘Bonkis’ who fired a wild shot high and wide of the goal. Julian Fuller then
went on a run from the Retards defence and released O’Rourke who held it up and
laid it off to Bennett who shot low and hard to the bottom corner of the goal
but Kyle made the save. Shortly after ‘Bongis’ was through on goal but the play
was stopped due to an injury to Fuller at the other end of the field which
possibly denied Retards equalising which might have changed the game. Fuller
then left the field to recover from his injury which left Retards with nine men
as they were already a man short at the start of the game. Raiders took full
advantage of the two man advantage that they had for about 10 minutes and began
pushing forward but Ricco and ‘Bubba’ at the heart of the Retards defence held
strong and defended their young goal keeper well. Goal. Bubba then fouled Tyler about 10 yards out from the corner of
the Penalty Area. Dewy placed the ball with intent and whipped in a curling
free kick towards the back post which Ricco completely miss kicked and the ball
went in pass the blind-sided Kyle. Retards still not giving up had a corner soon
after which was heading towards Antonio ‘Pedro’ but miss communication with
Bennett lead to ‘Pedro’ missing the ball. Shortly after Schmichael was in on
goal but Jonah who had total faith in Bagley passed back to him and he had to
clear under pressure. Bennett then swung in a teasing cross that Bagley met
with an outstretched foot with O’Rourke lurking beyond him. The ball came to
Cruyff ‘Indie’ just outside the Retards Penalty Area and he shot straight into
the arms of Kyle.

Goal. ‘Smokey’
then dropped back to the Raiders defence to help steady the team which allowed
Lyndon to step into midfield, his first contribution came when he battled
through the Retards midfield and defence, squared it to Dewy in the area who
placed it into the bottom corner of the goal pass the diving Kyle. Retards
fought hard to the end but Raiders had a striker on form that made the
difference.

Despite losing, Retards
had the most possession of the game and with players still to come into the
team they will be a tougher team to beat as the season progresses, they have found
a rare talent on Ascension however a young goal keeper in Kyle Francis. Raiders
were a surprise, with several new players they weren’t expected to gel so
quickly but they have and with another striker arriving soon the goals should
continue to rain in!

There will be
no football next week due to Ascension Day Fair