Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash No: 1459
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 25.04.2013 (Article Archived on 09.05.2013)

As the merry troupe massed at the Echo Canyon Letterbox trailhead and admired the newly installed sign,

Hares:
Missing
McGonagle

Hounds: Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Bus Driver, Dead
Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Over-n-Done With, Dipstick,
Dances with Sheep, Mark, Tim, Joe and The Last Turtle Head of Doom

Après: Emily and Cat

As the merry troupe massed at the Echo
Canyon Letterbox trailhead and admired the newly installed sign, they did not
realize by the end of the day they would go down in hash lore as survivors of
Missing McGonagle’s first attempt at setting a hash. A number of the regulars
were missing, drawn away by the opening of the new multiuse sports centre in
Two Boats, but they were replaced by a couple of new comers, Joe and Tim and
the return of Dances with Sheep. Over-n-Done With, missing her less than trusty
sidekick, showed fresh from a football game, a decision  she would regret.

The hash brief was short, sheer cliffs, 2
possible trails, sharp rocks and a heap (Scottish slang for I forgot how many I
set) circle checks. The brief also included the latest from Conservation,
keeping a look out for Cat’s mislaid crabs. This season’s hipper crabs are
rocking coloured bands above the right claw. If any of our regular readers happen
to see one, please note the colour and location you saw the crab and let
Conservation know.

The on-on sounded and the group set off,
across the small gully then up the ridgeline, and up and up, finally making it
to the top at the 1000’ elevation and having completely lost the hash. Losing
the hash is not unusual, but when the person who set it can’t find it that does
not bode well. The next bit was relatively flat and through the Casaurina pine
trees, and at this point Missing McGonagle had to inform the hash they were
going to the Echo Canyon Letterbox, which fortunately a few people knew the
location of, because the hash was not to be found.

Making their way up to the letterbox at
the 1500’ mark the hashers searched to no avail to locate the reputed hash. Did
the zombie rabbits eat it or had Missing McGonagle just forgotten about the whole
“flitting about and scattering paper” part of setting a hash? The younger
hashers had vanished from view at this point, going to straight to the
letterbox. In the absence of Bladerunner his cronies tried to emulate the sound
of the mighty vuvuzela, sadly the results were a little insipid. The rest of
the hash finally made to the letterbox and after a break to tide up the
letterbox, admire the views of Hummock Point and the sheer drop off behind the
letterbox followed by the official raising of Dead Gross’s t-shirt, in lieu of
a flag. The winds prevented the famous echo.

Setting off back the hashers ranged far
and wide with Missing McGonagle suspiciously finding the first bit of hash.
Following this trail for a short while before the hash was lost again, but the
hashers continued bravely on without guidance finally arriving at the Hook Cain
and a circle check! Really a circle check was found! From there it was all downhill,
so to speak. As the hashers picked their way down the last steep slope, it was
noticed there seem to be more cars than when we left. 

Arriving back at the parking area the
first order of business was explaining to the Après that their job was to insure
the beer and nipples were out and waiting for the return of the conquering
heroes. After assorted aches and pains were taken care of the important
business of the day was brought up, the naming of  Missing McGonagle. Invited to enter the
circle of doom friendship, a variety of names were put forth, some of
which cannot be printed in a family newspaper. It was finally decided that a
combination of his favourite poet and his skill sets at laying hash should be
combined. What the McGonagle has perhaps failed to realize is he has now set a
standard for his hashes he will be expected to keep, and of course he will need
to come up with an appropriate clan tartan, perhaps something in a chartreuse?

The post hash conversation enlightened
the newcomers on the ever present danger of zombie rabbits and Ascension’s
place in the world of secret squirrel stuff and conspiracy theories. Dead Gross
got to hear about his namesake’s sacrifice to science and Soggy Boozer’s mom
voice got the whole hash’s attention. Last week’s article from the Cornish
Pirates was also discussed, who knew people actually read this?  

Next
week:  16:30 Fort Thornton

Hares: Soggy Boozer

Bring
a plate of eats

Please wear something red in honour of the
original The Lady in Red

R.I.P.

The
Lady in Red

TLTHoD