Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash trash no: 1458
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 18.04.2013 (Article Archived on 02.05.2013)

A very excitable crowd met at the pavilion just below TLTHofD’s house; rumour was abound that a bus was involved and the excitement mounted as a fire engine turned up but it was not to be and the bus duly turned up

Hash Trash

Hash trash no: 1458

Hare: Over and Done With

Hounds: Daddy Dough Balls, Hairy Leftovers,
Hairy Hal, Boozy Head, Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, The
Last Turtle Head of Doom, Herr Slacker, Herr-lein Disaster Chef, Faecal
Attraction, Tamsin, Lesa, Jackie, Allan, Mark and Ed.

Après: Joe, Rachael, Sheri, Herr-less
Twitcher, Sue.

A very
excitable crowd met at the pavilion just below TLTHofD’s house; rumour was
abound that a bus was involved and the excitement mounted as a fire engine
turned up but it was not to be and the bus duly turned up. All aboard and the
younger and rowdier hashers went straight to the back and started singing
making some of the crowd wonder if they had been fed large quantities of sugar
before they got on. Eventually, much to the relief of the older hashers, the
bus stopped just short of the Sugar Cubes and all dismounted though the singing
continued.

A quick hash
brief including an explanation of what hash was for the newer members of the
group, with the hazards being loose rocks and some thorns with 8 circle checks.
On-on was called and it was quickly off up the hill before the bus turned
around. No chance of a ride back then.

The younger
hashers were first off the mark. “Don’t follow the kids, follow the hash”
yelled Soggy Boozer to the uninitiated. To no avail – they missed the second
blob of hash and were off in the wrong direction with many following. Luckily
Over and Done With was feeling kind and put the hashers in the right direction.
Up the hill to the first circle check. A quick catching of breath and on-on and
up and up again to the top of Green Top Crater. Views were admired and breath
caught again – at least there is no further up to go and the only way is down
though it did look a long way to the beer.

The hashers
were right – the way was downhill. The hash was scarce with some suspecting
that Over and Done With hadn’t actually walked the route down and had just
driven to the bottom to lay a circle check there. Faecal Attraction kept Bus
Driver company at the back until Boozy Head took Bus Driver down the hill and
off they sped. A variety of techniques were used on the descent and homage was
paid by many to the missing Bum Ride. All eventually gathered again at the bottom
and once boots had been emptied the hashers were off again.

This time
the on-on was much more level leading us on a track round the top of the lava
flow by the airhead and bringing us out at the clay pigeon shooting range near
the wind turbines. The going was much easier now though there was still some
distance to cover. Hairy Hal almost got left behind in his enthusiasm to
capture the scenery on his camera.

Now it was
the turn of the older hashers to lead the way as the sun was starting to go
down and beer was not only smelling but calling out to some. After the last
circle check just below the Cross Hill Caves (could this be the spot for Faecal
Attraction’s new beer cellar?) the way was along through the American base via
the power house and back to the pavilion. Dead Gross, Herr-lein Disaster Chef
and Hairy Hal were now a long way back but it was presumed that they would find
their way home when they were hungry, which they duly did after a record hash at
4.1 miles.

Back at the
pavilion the coals were lit and Joe took charge of cooking the food.
Conversations were wide ranging covering the merits of various Scottish poets
and the missed opportunity by TLTHofD to properly reference ‘We are Family’
when writing about the Sister’s Sledge in last week’s hash trash. Tamsin was
pleased to have explored parts of the island in such good company and the heat.
While the food was cooking there was important hash business to be taken care
of – given that Herr-lein Slacker had reached manhood it was felt inappropriate
that he had a youthful name and was renamed Herr Slacker in view of his great
age. Boozy Head is celebrating another milestone this week – the younger
hashers were eager to give him a birthday cleansing but decided that this
wouldn’t be wise and upset TLTHofD’s routine by using the rest of the water to
give him his weekly bath 3 days early.  
After the food had been eaten some of the hashers slipped off. Daddy
Dough Balls was amongst the first to go leaving the other hashers to wonder if
Over and Done With ought to be looking for a new side kick.  The younger hashers had to be returned home
before the neighbours complained about their continued singing – was it singing
or had they just turned feral? This left TLTHofD, Faecal Attraction, Boozy Head
and Soggy Boozer to have many important discussions well into the night.

Beautiful Moon, with thy silvery light,

Thou seemest most charming to my sight;

As I gaze upon thee in the sky so high,

A tear of joy does moisten mine eye.                                 William Topaz McGonagall

Next week: Echo canyon Letterbox                       Hare: Allan

Bring a plate of eats.                                                                                    Soggy Boozer