Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash No: 1457
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 11.04.2013 (Article Archived on 25.04.2013)

As the crowd gathered at the Camel Hump sign, for the Sisters Sledding Spectacular the first thing that was noticed was that the sign was missing or rather laying on the side of the road.

Hares: BladeRunner

Hounds: Boozy Head, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy
Leftovers, Bum Fluff, Herr-less Twitcher, Herr-Lien Disaster Chef, Emily, Lesa,
Over-n-Done With, Dirty Dough Balls, Dipstick, Joe, Makayla, Michelle and The
Last Turtle Head of Doom

Après: Sue

As the crowd gathered at the Camel Hump sign, for the
Sisters Sledding Spectacular the first thing that was noticed was that the sign
was missing or rather laying on the side of the road. Maybe one of our loyal
readers with AIG could put that on the fix list? There were a couple of
newcomers, Makayla who hopefully will soon take her aging Auntie's place in the
hash and Michelle, visiting from the US and had been brought by Lesa and Emily
under blatantly false premises. Ladies, telling her there were cute guys on the
hash was downright cruel!   The second thing noticed was several
regulars were missing; Herr-lien Slacker was off on a crab counting campout (no
that is not a euphemism for something sordid) and the rest were at the wedding
that afternoon. The Ascension Hash House would like to extend their
congratulations to the happy couple!! The absence of the Boozy family matriarch
meant her horde of winged monkeys were a little bemused and disorderly.

After the initial confusion the group boarded the bus and headed to the Sisters
Letterbox cairn, were some more confusion ensued, again probably due to the
lack of adult supervision. Finally off the bus the hash brief began, loose
rocks, zombie rabbits (a constant danger), migrating land crabs, sharp plants,
6 circle checks, one of which was imaginary and 3 squiggle checks. The on-on
sounded and your plucky band of explorers started up Sisters. The climb up
Sisters sadly revealed a surprising lack of physical prowess among the hashers.
Seriously, how out of shape do you have to be for a 50+ year old smoker to beat
you up the hill?

Finally making it to the top, the melodious tones of the mighty vuvuzela could
be heard echoing over Two Boats. Our regular readers will note the editorial
opinion on the sound of the vuvuzela has changed over the months. What can I
say it grows on you, but then again this author also likes bagpipes. It was
noticed while signing the letterbox book that the Cross of Saint Andrews that had
proudly flown over Sisters for years had disintegrated. So if any of our
readers would like to replace it, the Heritage Society has heard rumours of an
attempt to claim the peak for Cornwall, their  official position is the
first flag up there gets it. 

Continuing down the other side, the first part was the standard Ascension
screed run with a variety of techniques displayed from the top speed down hill
run to the classic bum slide. The slope levels out at the 1000' mark, where the
sleds were waiting, hand constructed and hauled up there by Bladerunner.
Looking down the 300' slope the crowd was initially a little hesitant; some
questioned the whole idea while others offered last minutes pleas to their
various deities before Bum Fluff, Joe and Dirty Dough Balls launched themselves
down the hill. As it turns out cardboard is not the fastest medium to use for a
sled, but using a mixture of styles from surfing to bobsledding all made it
down in one piece!  Due to some technical difficulties pictures were not available
in time for publishing, look for them in an upcoming edition.

From there the hashers, hauling the sleds, headed back to the road, a handful
who actually listened to Bladerunner diverted to the waiting trailer to deliver
the sleds the rest hauled theirs back to the road. The younger and braver or
more easily repaired hashers stopped at the "Coal Shute" and sledded
down it, getting much better speeds on the steeper slope.

As everyone finally made it back to the waiting vehicles and the after party,
they were joined by the Sue, Herr family matriarch. The après lasted until
after dark with the usual odd selection of conversations and the remaining
sleds were used for evil. Bladerunner had come through with a fantastic hashing
treat that will be become an annual event, or at least as long as people are
willing to haul the sleds up there.



Next week:  16:30 Barracks 13 Pavilion-US Base

Hares: Over-n-Done With

Bring a plate of eats

"One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats."

Iris Murdoch

TLTHoD