Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash 1455
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 28.03.2013 (Article Archived on 11.04.2013)
The quiet peacefulness of the Residence was shattered by the arrival of the hashing horde, His Honour, receiving advance warning
Hash No: 1455
Hares: Boozy Head and Soggy Boozer
Hounds: Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Bum Ride, Bum Fluff, Sniffy, Over-n-Done With, Dirty Dough Balls, Small Balls, Dipstick, Herr Taff, BladeRunner and The Last Turtle Head of Doom
The quiet peacefulness of the Residence was shattered by the arrival of the hashing horde, His Honour, receiving advance warning and thinking it was the revolution finally coming had fled the country. As the crowd formed they were first entertained by Dipsticks supervision of Over-n-Done With’s 7 point turn. The younger hashers were less than enthusiastic on their arrival, having spent the night before on a survival campout on North East Bay, making lean-tos and catching rats for their supper. The Boozy children had to be forced to come on the hash but the Hairy twins had shown up on their own, giving credence to the suspicion that their sister got all the brains in the family. The Herr Family and Faecal Attractions absence was explained by their need to primp and powder before the evenings events. Rumour has it they did look awful pretty.
The hash brief was given, 7 circle checks, a bar check with 3 possible routes and the usual Green Mountain Hazards, low-hanging bushes, downed trees, loose slopes, rats, land crabs, feral sheep, more rats and the ever present possibility of zombie rabbit attack. The on-on sounded and came to a halt by the late but impressive arrival of Herr Taff, returning to the island after an extended world tour. The on-on resounded and the crowd set off down the road, cutting up the trail head of Zig-Zag, hitting the bar check almost immediately. The bar check had three possible routes, with only one of them being the real one. After exploring a number of trails the real route, which followed the original Zig-Zag trail. The first, and world smallest circle check, was Heritage Sign # 14, the Monkey Rock cemetery overlook.
From there the route followed the original Zig-Zag trail to the Red Lion Inn and the 2nd circle check where Over-n-Done With’s regaled the pack with tales of her widely misspent youth on the mountain farm. From there the trail led down Cronk’s for a visit to the letterbox, along the way the group was entertained by Daddy Dough Ball’s famous rat call. The next circle check was in the Banana Ravine below the bridge. The older and wiser hashers hung back and allowed Idle Trekkie and Hairy Leftovers go first, when getting down to the circle they found it is was just a circle, the trail actually continued on down Cronk’s. The trail recently cleared thanks led by the fine efforts of Charley from the Conservation Department assisted by RAF and British Army volunteers has some spectacular vistas. The recent return of BladeRunner meant the sound of the mighty vuvuzela was once again heard echoing over Green Mountain. The group also was got to hear Bum Rides version of the rat call.
On Ascension you always have to go back up hill, so when the group hit the end of Cronk’s no one was really surprised to see the trail led next to Scouts and headed back up hill. Scout’s is another trial that has been lost in recent years, the landslides in the rains a couple of years ago had taken a particular toll on this trail. There has been some recent work on it but it is still in progress. Still there are also some good views and the Boozy Family recently re-discovered the long lost letterbox. As the group got spread out the stragglers led by Soggy Boozer realized they had lost the hash and were faced by down trees and several paths, following her “suggestion” Bum Fluff and The Last Turtle Head of Doom, climbed, crawled and limbo-ed through a thick patch, only to hear “oh that’s not the trail”. Proving once again the suspicion that they were there just for the amusement of the ladies.
As the group finally staggered back the Residency parking lot and took up positions on the lawn, the elder hashers enjoyed the sunset while the younger ones enjoyed the tree house. During the post hash conversation the American and Saint contingent learned the latest in British measuring techniques. As the sun went down and the temperature dropped The Last Turtle Head of Doom had to step up and keep Bum Ride warm since Bum Fluff was not up to the task. The Two Boats Crew were the last to leave opting to leave the vehicles there and stroll down the mountain in the dark. All survived another excellent Boozy Clan hash!
Next week: 16:30 Diamond Jubilee Letterbox
Hares: Soggy Boozer and Bum Ride
Bring a plate of eats
“A good walk in the fresh air sorts everything out”
Helen Mirren in The Queen (2006)
TLTHoD
Hash # 1456 is The Ascension Hash House Harriers 28th Birthday!!!!!!! In celebration this will be a kid friendly Easter Egg Hunt and Egg Roll. For all of our faithful readers, get out your old hash shirt, bring the kids and come out and get your Hash back on!!!
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