Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash 1454
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 28.03.2013 (Article Archived on 11.04.2013)

The hashers gathered at the car park beyond the oil storage tanks at English Bay and were very pleased to see the return of some old hashers,

Hash trash no: 1454

Hare: The Last Turtle Head of Doom

Hounds: Hairy Leftovers, Hairy Hal ,Small Balls,Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Herr-lein Slacker, Herr-leinDisasterChef,Bladerunner, Dipstick, Night Owl and Cat.

The hashers gathered at the car park beyond the oil storage tanks at English Bay and were very pleased to see the return of some old hashers, no not senior but people who hadn’t been for a while. Dipstick and Night Owl made a return and we were very pleased to seeBladerunner, our esteemed hash master, as things have just not been the same under the self-appointed hash master, The Last Turtle Head of Doom. This was exemplified by TLTofD telling us that this was a ‘hashless hash’; apparently he had been too busy counting Cat’s crabs, sorry, crabs with Cat, that he hadn’t got round to setting any hash. The hazards were rocks, rocks and more rocks with the odd zombie rabbit thrown in for good measure. There was an imaginary circle check at the letterbox - we were on our way to North West Point. An easy route, just follow the white circles of paint on the rocks, easily distinguishable from the (white) guano covering the rocks. Not!

On-on and, as usual, the younger hashers led the way, completely missing the actual route. Most of the hashers (the foolish bunch) followed, while the wiser hashers, Boozy Head and TLTHofD followed the actual route.  The children didn’t care andmade off on a beeline for the letterbox. The rest joined up with the wise ones and made the way carefully over the rocks. Up and down and down and up and an impromptu circle check was called to give Dipstick and Night Owl the chance to catch up; although both experienced hashers they were a little out of practice.

No sooner had they caught up then we were off again. By the time all had made it to the letterbox the Herr-Lein two were already in the process of completing the letterbox book. Talk was had of possible cliff diving and appropriate locations and possible guinea pigs for a first attempt. Funnily enough there was no one forthcoming to try out jumping in for a quick swim. Just as well really as the waves were crashing over the rocks that could be seen and there were probably many more down below that couldn’t be seen.

On-on again and back the way we came. Well, maybe. Some did and some didn’t find the actual route. Again, the younger hashers soon had a good head start leaving others trailing way behind. No stopping to catch up as the cars with the refreshments could be seen and they were much needed on such a hot day. TLTHofD did not live up to his name and made it back before at least 5 of the hashers, with Dipstick and Night Owl bringing up the rear. Small Balls had made a quick exit before some had even returned – had we scared him off?

New and old acquaintances were made and the variety of hash t-shirts admired; four different ones spanning a number of years. Night Owl’s was the oldest and included all the names of the hashers with only Sniffy remaining on island after all these years. It was pleasing to see that hash names do not get any better or less embarrassing as time goes on.

“This is one of the strangest places on the face of the earth.”  Captain Burnett on Ascension 1858

Next week: The Residency

Hare: Soggy Boozer and Boozy Head

Bring a plate of eats.

Soggy Boozer