Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash 1453
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 14.03.2013 (Article Archived on 28.03.2013)

The crowd that had formed at the Grazing Valley parking lot was starting to get restless when the hares showed up and informed everyone they were in the wrong place!

Hash No: 1453

Hares: Bum Ride and Bum Fluff

Hounds: Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Herr-Lien Slacker, Herr-Lien Disaster Chef, Faecal Attraction, Sniffy, Dodgy Ron, Over-n-Done With, Dirty Dough Balls, Lesa, and The Last Turtle Head of Doom

The crowd that had formed at the Grazing Valley parking lot was starting to get restless when the hares showed up and informed everyone they were in the wrong place! The hash was starting from Mountain Red Hill instead, after getting moved and reorganized the hash brief was short, the usual sharp rocks and plants, steep slopes, 4 circle checks and a surprise at the last one. Never a good thing to hear at a hash brief. The week the hash had been joined by Dodgy Ron from the Scarborough Hash (SH3), an established running hash who just held their 2460th hash! The on-on sounded and the trail crossed the road, leading to a sigh of relief by some of the older hashers who had been eyeing the slope of Mt. Red Hill. Bum Fluff’s use of “the big prickly pear’ as a landmark was questioned. The trail led across the ridgeline then down the steep slope into Green Top Crater. This spread the group out with the younger hashers waiting a while for the rest to stagger down to the circle check. By this point Dodgy Ron was starting to get the idea why the Ascension hashers don’t do a lot of running.

Swinging around into the canyon Sniffy got to see The Last Turtle Head of Doom’s Fairy Tern imitation, a sight that is now seared into his memory. Coming to the head of the canyon the group was expecting a back arrow, but no, the trail led up what looked like a sheer rock surface, obviously the Bums had taken notes on Over-n-Done With’s hash and had found a trail up and up and up. Finally breaking back out on the ridgeline and the sight of Mt. Red Hill looming over the road.

Forming back up at the vehicles after a surprising quick hash, considering the terrain and distance, is it possible the hashers are getting fitter? The post hash conversation took one of its odd turns with Lesa first channelling Joe then dissolving into discussion about her Justin Bieder fantasies. This was followed by some hash business, first the now traditional birthday cleansing of Herr-Lien Slacker. Soggy Boozer had missed her birthday cleansing the week before but after consultation among the older and hopefully wiser hashers it was decided to give her pass due to her advanced age. However, her winged minions chose to ignore the advice of their elders and still perform the ancient cleansing ritual, this was followed by what only be called a stroke of brilliance on their part, they got Faecal Attraction to drive them home. Bus Driver was smart enough to avoid this act of open rebellion. 

Next week:  16:30 English Bay past the Oil Storage Tanks

Hares: The Last Turtle Head of Doom

Bring a plate of eats

“Land really is the best art”

Andy Warhol

TLTHoD