Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash 1451
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 28.02.2013 (Article Archived on 14.03.2013)

It was an eager crowd forming at the Two Boats football pitch, waiting to see if Over-n-Done With could meet her stated goal.

Hash No: 1451

Hares: Over-n-Done With

Hounds: Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Herr-Lien Slacker, Herr-Lien Disaster Chef, Mrs Tackleberry, Faecal Attraction, Sniffy. Dozy ½ Penny, Doctor Doolittle, Golden Locks, Bad Reception, Daddy’s Boy, Short Horn, Rachael, Joe, Lesa, Jackie, Brad  and The Last Turtle Head of Doom

It was an eager crowd forming at the Two Boats football pitch, waiting to see if Over-n-Done With could meet her stated goal. To set a hash that would make the Antenna Boys cry. (Spoiler alert) No actual tears but there were some lower lips seen quivering at the end of the hash. Finding out that Over-n-Done With’s trusty sidekick refused to have anything to do with setting this hash was scary. 9 circle checks, sharp bushes, loose rocks, extremely large rats, steep climbs, low hanging branches and the occasional possible rogue sheep completed the hash brief and the on-on was sounded. 

Heading up the road the runners took off with Jackie in the lead and she promptly missed the hash showing the turn off to Dampiers. The rest of the group headed down the road while Over-n-Done With went to retrieve our wayward runner.  Following the road past the World War Two Generator site and around to the cistern at Dampiers Drip and a circle check. Doctor Doolittle had been  trying to set a new standard for hard core hashing by showing up in flip flops, he decided at this point he was just not hard-core enough and using the old “I broke my toe on the boat yesterday” line to get out of Over-n-Done With’s hash and went back to supervise the caigs.

From there the trail led upwards climbing to the ridgeline above Dampiers, a steep climb that stretched the group out.  The ridgeline provides a great view to south east. Spotted a few hundred meters up and across from the road, buried in the midst of Mexican Thorn was what appeared to be a small hut with a chimney? If any of our loyal readers has any idea what this was please contact the Heritage Society. Pausing at the top to catch their breaths and admire the view, the horror soon set in as it was realized the trail went from there up the side of Green Mountain. Rachael considered calling it a day there but decided if the Antenna boys could do how hard could it really be?

 The climb up to Monkey Rock turned out to be a little easier than it first looked, with remnants of sheep trails to follow. Cresting the ridge the hashers found the trail heading off towards the Residency, cutting behind it and picking up Convalescent Trail, recently cleared by an RAF Team. By this point the group was getting more spread out.  The front runners missed one of the circle checks where the trail hit the main road and opted to run the rest of the way to the cars. The rest followed a more leisurely pace, following the hash as it cut the road bends and just went straight down the mountain.

 When the group finally reassembled at the football pitch, order was called for important hash business. First was the ancient and mystical hash naming. The circle of friendship was drawn and Faecal Attraction entered, his name was decided on after careful consultation with his colleagues who discussed his reputation as a problem magnet and remarks made during the Red Dress hash of his resemblance to the actress Glenn Close. Next up was Short Horn, his name was also discussed by his colleagues and came from certain physical attributes and his rather undistinguished place of origin.  In a brilliant pre-emptive strike Doctor Doolittle claiming his hash seniority requested that Lesa’s naming be postponed until the Antenna Boys return to the island, and in sadly lacking display of sisterhood she promptly threw Rachael and Jackie under the same bus. The final bit of hash business was the burning of socks by Mrs Tackleberry, Sgt Tackleberry having left the island the week before. Disappointingly the pair was not on the island long enough to wear out a pair of boots.

As the sun went down on Over-n-Done With now legendary hash the crowded moved rather slowly to their vehicles, with the older ( and even some  of the younger) hashers realizing they were going to feel this in the morning.

Next week:  16:30 Command Hill

Hares: Boozy Head

Bring a plate of eats

“The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes” Marcel Proust