Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash No 1450
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Internet Editor) 21.02.2013 (Article Archived on 07.03.2013)

The Red Dress Hash is a tradition started in San Diego California in 1988. A young lady was invited on a running hash and misunderstood where and what she was doing.

Hash No: 1450

The World Famous Ascension St. Valentines Red Dress Hash and Charity Ball

Hares: Soggy Boozer

Hounds: Boozy Head, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Bum Ride, Bum Fluff, Herr-less Twitcher, Herr-Lien Slacker, Herr-Lien Disaster Chef, Mrs Tackleberry, Fondle my Eggs, Human Mattress, Mr Fluffy, Doctor Doolittle, Golden Locks, Bad Reception, Daddy’s Boy, Abel, Nicky, Rachael, Joe, Mike, Lesa, Jackie, Jason, Robin, Amy, Becky, Brandy, Harry, Jessie  and The Last Turtle Head of Doom

Après: Over-n-Done With, Daddy Dough Balls, Warp Speed, Cat Walk, Mirror Poser, Buzz Light Year, Annalise, Mark, Janette, Craig, Colin, Hanna May, Grace, Will, Ann, Felicity, Emerus, Millicent and Marne

The Red Dress Hash is a tradition started in San Diego California in 1988. A young lady was invited on a running hash and misunderstood where and what she was doing. She showed up in a red mini and heels, kicked off the heels and made the run anyway. The Lady in Red still hashes to this day. The red dress hash has since become a hashing tradition, tied in to a charity fundraiser.  Here on Ascension it was decided the Girl Guides, recently re-formed after a several year hiatus, would be this year’s beneficiary.

Prior to the hash Over-n-Done With and Daddy Dough Balls had made arrangements for a special guest appearance in the US Mess Hall by Mike, Mark, Mrs Tackleberry, Jason, Bum Fluff, Bum Ride, Robin, Amy, Brandy and The Last Turtle Head of Doom. As it turns out feather boas are a health code problem. The level of interest in seeing men in red dresses was more than a little disturbing and left TLTHoD feeling just slightly dirty and used, a feeling normally reserved for work. 

Continuing down to the AIG Beach Hut there was a pause to admire the couture. The Boozy Family had matching dresses, the Hairy Twins showed in their official Scouser attire. Mark and Becky were sharing a dress and the Herr family managed to scrounge up some last minute evening wear. Even Jessie the Dog had her red on. The large crowd include some old hashers returning and a number of first timers although there is some question were they there to help the Girl Guides or a strange desire to see men in dresses.

The hash brief was short, 5 heart checks for Valentine’s Day, loose rocks, screed and an occasional rough wave. The On-On sounded some of the hashers ran into trouble immediately, as it turns hashing in a tight dress over loose rock is not as easy as it sounds. The first circle check was at the World War Two Gun emplacement above the Scout’s Beach Hut.

From there the trail wound around, according to the experts it was strangely reminiscent of a turtle track, climbing the steps to  Lions Bluff, and the group got more spread out with the Antenna boys and Jackie actually running over the rocks. The tail section was driven by Jessie and Harry. The Girl Guide contingent broke away from the main group and blazed a cross country trail beating the main group to Lions Head.

From there the trail dropped down to the beach south of Pratt Point for the third circle check, reforming the hash momentarily. Setting off again the group headed over Pratt Point then dropped back to the beach following the shore line were the group got to admire some of the cooler examples of lava flows on the island and ended in a final slog through the thick sand on Scouts and Collier Point.

As the hashers made it back to the AIG Beach Hut the Charity Ball was already in full swing, with beads and boa’s donated by one of the N’awlins Krewes. These will also be on sale –see your local Girl Guide. Mike, whose dress was provided by his wife, was voted the best looking, with Herr-Lien Slacker, whose strappy number was donated by Old Golly Waddler came a close second.  The general consensus  was that Mark looked better in the dress than Becky. Bum Ride accused TLTHoD of  looking just a bit slutty, but she was just jealous of his dress.  The smaller hashers played in the surf and rock pools while the older ones took their ease as the the sun went down. The benefit raised over 200 pounds, Ok not huge but a nice start.

The food was excellent if anyone left hungry it was their own fault. His Honour (well  Nicky who did the real work) sent a beverage donation. Over-n-Done With and Daddy Dough Balls came through with their famous homemade chilli, Herr-Lien Disaster Chef for his jam tarts, Louise, Becky and Soggy Boozer for the side dishes. 'n groot dankie aan die Suid-Afrikaanse vissers vir die tuna und boerewors-skenking en Craig vir die groot kook!!!!

Don’t forget to mark your calenders now and get your dresses on order early- Feb 15th 2014-- 2nd Annual World Famous St. Valentines Red Dress Hash and Charity Ball for the Girl Guides of Ascension!!!!!!

Next week:  16:30 Two Boats Football Pitch

Hares: Over-n-Done With

Bring a plate of eats

TLTHoD

“Don't consider your reputation and you may do anything you like”

Chinese Proverb