Ascension : Hash Trash No: 1446
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 24.01.2013 (Article Archived on 07.02.2013)

The hashers duly gathered at the Grotto waiting in anticipation for another great hash.

Hash Trash

Hash trash no: 1446

Hare: The Last Turtle Head of Doom (TLTHoD)

Hounds: Small Balls,Sgt.Tackleberry, Mrs Tackleberry, Hairy Leftovers, Hairy Hal , Bum Ride, Bum Fluff, Sniffy, Dozy ‘Alfpenny, Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Herr-less Twitcher, Herr-lein Slacker, Herr-leinDisasterChef.

The hashers duly gathered at the Grotto waiting in anticipation for another great hash. After some discussion between TLTHoD and Sniffy, order was called and the warnings given. There was no hash to follow this week as TLTHoD had been too ‘busy’ (ie lazy) to get out and set a trail, but he was sure he knew where we were going (the rest of crowd were doubtful about this). Hazards this week were the usual, loose rocks, some up and some down, zombie rabbits with the addition of booby traps, mines and the odd sniper who might fancy a pot shot at a stray hasher.

The on-on was called and the hashers set off in the direction of Command Hill. It wasn’t long before we came to the first cave (possibly a fumarole but no one was totally sure) found by the younger hashers. Despite a sign implying that we should ‘keep out or else’, Dead Gross was determined to go and explore. After being pulled off by anxious adults who didn’t want an international incident on their hands, the hashers moved off. Not long until another cave was discovered and this one could be explored.  Of course the younger hashers went down, ‘supervised’ by Bum Fluff, while the sensible hashers waited up top. It wasn’t long before they were quickly heading out as Dead Gross, truly living up to his name, had found 2 dead sheep whose fragrant state was somewhat on the ‘ripe’ side. Stories abound of the fearsome zombie rabbits.

Another cave was soon found which the Hairy twins already claimed to have explored on a previous visit. Dead Gross tried the small exit only to have to reverse and go in the wider entrance. Although all the children went down only Dead Gross made it all the way through. The older hashers had got bored and were waiting by the airhead road when Dead Gross finally made his exit.

Over the road and after a short walk we were quickly at the cave on Command Hill. Being a much bigger cave, lots of the hashers decided to put their torches to use and went to explore. Sniffy and TLTHoDhad been down before so maintained a dignified presence at the entrance of the cave. Going down into the caves, the hashers were surprised that it was actually hotter down there and quite large. A lot of fun was had exploring and eventually all made a hot and sweaty exit.

No hash is complete without a hill so the route continued to the top of Command Hill. After a short break to admire the view two options were offered of the route back to the beer. The reckless hashers ran off down the side of the hill while those that welcomed a hashwith no stones in their boots, ambled down the road deep in conversation about the weather and other important matters.

Eventually all were reunited at the cars and down to some serious hash business. Cameron was invited into the circle of doom, sorry friendship. It was felt that it was important to continue the family name of Herr-less but as he was still a minor he didn’t qualify and should be Herr-lein. Rumours had quickly reached the hash circles of his less than energetic start to work on the island so he became Herr-lein Slacker.    Frazier was next and the family name of Herr-lein was continued. Due to his culinary skills (blowing up the cooker on his first day at school) there was no dissent from the name of Herr-leinDisasterChef.

A hashy birthday for Dead Gross and after the friendly singing round his cake he then received the, now obligatory birthday cleansing. Many fun conversations were had until hashers made their separate ways home to wash and scrub before other evening festivities. Another fun hash.

Fumarole, vent in the Earth’s surface from which steam and volcanic gases are emitted. 

Britannica.com

Next week: meet at the Sooty Tern sign at Mars Bays

Hare:Sgt.Tackleberry and Mrs Tackleberry

Bring a plate of eats.

                                                                                    Soggy Boozer