Ascension : Hash trash no: 1442
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 10.01.2013 (Article Archived on 24.01.2013)

A beautiful sunny day for a Christmas hash. As the hashers straggled together at the end of Long Beach a strange, mysterious present from Bladerunner was noticed;

Hash Trash

Hash trash no: 1442

Hare: Bladerunner

Hounds: Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Leftovers, Hairy Hal, Sergeant Slipper, Slip Away, Hot Fuzz, Bum Ride, Bum Fluff, The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Scott, Witney, Hamish, Jane and Philip.

 The younger hashers and Bladerunner having fun.

A beautiful sunny day for a Christmas hash. As the hashers straggled together at the end of Long Beach a strange, mysterious present from Bladerunner was noticed; his car was there but he was nowhere to be seen and the present had a note attached ‘not to be opened’. The game was nearly given away as a curious Dead Gross tried to shake the present.  As the early hashers waited for the late comers they went to spot turtles in the sea and there was much merriment when the parcel eventually opened to reveal a hot and sweaty Bladerunner inside.

Once all had recovered from the shock, Bladerunner gave the warnings; 4 circle checks and 1 back arrow, loose rocks, thorns and unexploded ordnance. All the usuals, plus some extra, much to the delight of the younger hashers!

On-on was called and off the eager hashers set. It was not long before the lava flow was encountered and the younger hashers scampered off like mountain goats while the older and novice hashers took their time in getting over them. Soon the cries of ‘circle check’ were heard in the distance and eventually all gathered together for a short rest by a load of old dumped rubbish. After a little exploring of the newly discovered treasure trove and some breath catching the on-on was called again.

More lava was encountered and again the older hashers struggled. Bladerunner was much admired for scampering over the lava while still wearing his big cardboard box. Again the call of ‘circle check’ was heard from the younger hashers in the distance and eventually all gathered together again. There were many sighs of relief as the on-on then went onto sandier and easier paths through the lava flows.

At the next circle check the hashers were greeted by a large amount of hash pointing out the mine. Dead Gross was ready to stand on it to see if it was live or not but was strongly discouraged by the older and wiser hashers who knew that this would be foolish in the extreme.

While this was going on, the more youthful hashers (including Bum Fluff) had discovered secret hiding places in an abandoned truck around the corner. What was in there? Bladerunner then gathered the hashers together to explain the real story behind Father Christmas. His theory (and bear in mind, this is Bladerunner we are talking about) is that Father Christmas cannot visit all the houses on Christmas Eve. He air drops in the presents for children prior to the night and then his helpers distribute them when the children are asleep.

Sure enough, toys were found in the secret hiding places and the remains of the crates were also found. This must be true then.

Off we go again and the children had a lot of fun chasing each other with the toys that had been found an appropriated. It is to be hoped that there are no disappointed children on Ascension on Christmas Day when the little helpers couldn’t find the missing presents.

Not long before we were all safely back at the cars. A long and very sociable après with some hashers disappearing off to play in the turtle holes, others choosing to watch turtles and the rest minding the light refreshments by the cars.

Everyone agreed that this was a great Christmas hash set by Bladerunner.

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. 
Albert Camus 
Next week: The hut on the firing range on North East Road. Meet at the cairn for Broken Tooth Crater on North East for a lift down the track.

Hare: Dead Gross and Hairy Hal.

Bring a plate of eats.