Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash 1440
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 13.12.2012 (Article Archived on 27.12.2012)

A small bunch of hashers gathered this week and the younger hashers were shocked that not only was there no hash but also no hare and no hash master.

Hash trash no: 1440

Hare: The hares were all busy partying this week so no hash set.

Hounds: Soggy Boozer, Boozy Head, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers and Sniffy

Apres:Bladerunner and The Last Turtle Head of Doom.

A small bunch of hashers gathered this week and the younger hashers were shocked that not only was there no hash but also no hare and no hash master. Most of the other regulars were busy washing their hair for later partying. The more senior members of the group were getting nervous as, for once, they were outnumbered by the younger hashers. While we assembled the young ones chased each other around and had to be caught by Boozy Head. There was disagreement of where to go – Bullocks Pond or Duck Pond or both. Eventually the adults took control and off we set to Duck Pond.

Not long after we had been going we encountered old hash set by Sniffy and Dozy ‘alfpenny some weeks back. On-on and off we went. Through the guava to the eucalyptus trees and then up the ridge and up the hill.

Hairy Leftovers showed his eagerness to complete both letterboxes and charged off up the hill, followed by Boozy Head and Bus Driver. In the absence of the The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Hairy Hal and Dead Gross brought up the rear talking about who knows what (starships and new planets, that’s what).

An impromptu circle check was called at the top of the ridge while the last ones caught up and the view was much admired. On-on and up to the top. There was some dispute over which path to take to the top so Sniffy and Soggy Boozer took the scenic route – not such a good idea. Eventually they spotted Idle Trekkie sitting and marking the letterbox and they knew they were nearly there.

The ducks were re-floated, the book signed and the surrounding area fully explored. The RMS St Helena was spotted in the distance and another truck was seenparked by the cars. Is that the Last Turtle Head of Doom with the beers?

Showing his keenness, Hairy Leftovers charged off down the hill, determined to reach Bullocks Pond as well. He was hotly pursued by Boozy Head and Idle Trekkie.   The others took a leisurely pace down the hill towards the beers. Having followed the intrepid 3 across the wrong ridge they took a ‘track’ (only if you’re woolly and have 4 hooves) back to the easy route down.

Sniffy sped off and was first back at the trucks. Voices were heard through the trees and Boozy Head, Hairy Leftovers and Idle Trekkie were also seen speedily heading home. The others followed in the wake of their dust tracks. When Boozy Head was seen exploring the caves and the old hash was found the hashers knew they were nearly back.

Bladerunner had escaped from work and joined for the après. A very civilized affair with proper desserts, plates and cutlery. Still, not long before  hashers went their separate ways to wash their hair for more Christmas festivities.

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”

Michael Caine

Next week: 4.30pm at the Conservation hut on the firing range. Take the track by the Broken Tooth cairn on North East Road and take the right hand fork at the triangle. Park on the road and wait for lift by 4 wheel drive if your car is not up to it.

Hare: Boozy Head or Dead Gross and Hairy Hal.

Bring a plate of eats.

Soggy Boozer