Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1439
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 13.12.2012 (Article Archived on 27.12.2012)

A ragged band of hashers accumulated in the icy winds of the NASA site this week.

Hash trash no: 1439

Hare: Bum Ride and Bum Fluff

Hounds: Soggy Boozer, Boozy Head, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, The Last Turtle Head of Doom

A ragged band of hashers accumulated in the icy winds of the NASA site this week. Many had forgotten their money or their food. Plenty had forgotten to come, including the hash-master. Never mind, his apprentice arrived with a smaller version of his trademark vuvuzela.

The Bums gathered the little population in a circle, and told them the hazards; 4 circle checks, loose rocks, guava, big rocks, little rocks, loose rocks, rabbits, land crabs, some up and some down. The usual, to be honest.

On-on down the Crater Cliff route, with hashers slipping and tripping on the promised rocks. The rowdy mini-hashers ambled off ahead while the more senile hashers dragged behind. The first circle check was discovered, breaths were caught and then the on-on was pointed towards Weather Post and White Horse.

As the hashers recklessly traversed the rocky slopes of Green Mountain, many were heard singly loudly as a means of annoying each other. A couple of times, the younglings lost the hash, only for the older ones to mysteriously recover it again (giving rise to bitter complaint).

The second circle check was marked with long vuvuzela blasts, and shortly afterwards a dangerous valley was discovered, giving meaning to the afore-mentioned “up and down”. The intrepid and more confident hashers FOLLOWED THE HASH down the hazardous rocky slope, while the more timid and laid-back ones magically appeared at the bottom, having taken an easier route.

Up the valley they travelled, to the grassy plain between the peaks of White Horse and Weather post, and the third circle check. Here, while some wandered off to peer at Louie’s Ledge and others complained of the newly discovered “Hashers Neck” (name given to the neck strain caused by looking down too much), others discovered the joy of the tremendously late echo that occurs between the two hills. It was celebrated by massive stealing and over-use of the vuvuzela, even when the on-on was called going back up the track to the starting point.

At this point the hash separated into two groups: The sensible and polite ones who waited at the fourth circle check, and those who simply couldn’t be bothered and continued up the road. When the two were reunited at the top, all was made merry and crisps were generously scoffed. The old hashers sat and conversed, while the young and daring ones grabbed all the crisps and explored the NASA basement. When all was said and done, the hashers happily hopped into their rides back down the mountain to a warm bed.

“Don't expect anything original from an echo.”                                                                    Author unknown         

Next week: 4.30pm at Bullocks Pond/Duck Pond cairn on the mountain road.

Mystery Hare.

Bring a plate of eats and your letterbox book.

Idle Trekkie