Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash No: 1438
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 29.11.2012 (Article Archived on 13.12.2012)

As the group formed on the Boozy terrace, the first bad sign was the absence of BladeRunner and Hairy Leftovers.

Hares:Bus Driver with an assist from Soggy Boozer

Hounds:Boozy Head,Idle Trekkie, Dead Gross, Hairy Hal,Bum Ride, Bum Fluff,Sniffy,Scott andThe Last Turtle Head of Doom

Apres:Bladerunner

 As the group formed on the Boozy terrace, the first bad sign was the absence of BladeRunner and Hairy Leftovers. Any hash that scares them off is really not good, sadly your merry band of hikers were not perceptive enough to pick up on this. The first real sign of trouble was the hash brief. After Bus Driver gave most of the usual Ascension hazards, loose rocks, feral sheep, guava, Mexican Thorn and the occasional zombie rabbit, he turned over the rest of the brief to his assistant Soggy Boozer. Who proceeded to admit that a) she was not sure if the two parts to the trail actually met and b) there were 5 or 6 circle checks, she had managed to lose one and c) she was not going back in there. This was the point where the hair started standing up on the back of the necks of your hashers. There was also one final hazard; there was a back arrow for anyone who did not come back bleeding. This would turn out to be the simplest hazard to over come

The On-On sounded, the group headed off down road and crossing New Mountain Road the trail cut off in to the brush, heading in the general direction of Hospital Hill. The trail wound in and around the guava andold Mexican Thorn, the group quickly got spread out as the shorted hashers did not have to duck and crawl along the path. The brush was so thick the group even quickly lost sight of each other, forcing them to keep track of each other by the sound of the on-on and the occasional whimpers of pain. The first circle check was buried so far into a small ravine it was impossible to determine even direction. Breaking out along a ridgeline to the south, the path continued on to the hikers hit an area with fresh hash heading off in three directions and hashers scattered to the wind, however all three paths lead back to the same circle check. As the group re-gathered its strength, the younger hashers had their hopes and dreams tested there, when it was pointed out that all they really had to look forward to was ending up looking like Sniffy,TLTHoD or possibly Bum Ride. As always the hash is not responsible for nightmares.

  Continuing on the trail finally broke into an open area and the road with Soggy Boozer waiting could be seen at the distance. However, the hash trail again took off in 2 different directions with hashers heading for the road any way they could. Finally regrouping at the road, the horror set in as they realized they were only half way done. There was also the need to explain to Bus Driver he needed to keep better supervision on his assistants in the future. After minimum grumbling the group set off up the road heading up Green Mountain, wondering if they were heading to the Dew Pond. The trail cut off down the original mountain road, past the Two Boats, which the Bums and Scott had never seen, after a break for pictures, the trail cur around towards Dampiers then back up the ridgeline heading for the summit of Thistle Hill and the great views from there. Thistle Hill has perhaps the best unspoiled view of the Sisters lava flow, the newest part of the island and also has a great view Two Boats Village. Well worth the climb for any of our readers who have not been there. 

  Bladerunner and the finish line could be seen at the distance but there was still the climb down, following sheep trails and using the variety of ascension downhill methods the group finally made it to the turnstile, with final few staggering in to find the others with their boots off and already enjoying beverages.

The post hash conversation went from fishing to the legend of D.B. Cooper.  The Boozy Clan had once again set a great hash, forcing the rest of the hashers to step up their game. On-On

Next week:16:30NASA Site

Hares:Bum Ride and Bum Fluff

Bring a plate of eats 

“All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed” Sean O'Casey

TLTHoD