Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash 1436
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 15.11.2012 (Article Archived on 29.11.2012)

The hashers sluggishly arrived at the Water’s Edge cairn, along a beaten and dusty track.

Hash trash no: 1436

Hare: The Last Turtle Head Of Doom

Hounds: Soggy Boozer, Boozy Head, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Sniffy, Dozy ‘alfpenny, Scott

The hashers sluggishly arrived at the Water’s Edge cairn, along a beaten and dusty track. As the group formed, it became clear that several familiar faces were missing from the assembly. After some delay, the hash decided to leave.

The Last Turtle Head of Doom (TLTHoD) had promised the hashers 3 circle check. Not that this number was taken into fair consideration, as TLTHoD’s hashes rarely turn out as promised. Still, the miniature party ambled the mars-like rocks.

After a while of following the paper trail through rusty sheets of metal (not to mention a swerve off in the wrong direction for Bus Driver), the first circle check was found fairly quickly. Many found this suspicious, but little was said as this particular hare regularly has something up his sleeve. The on-on was pointed, away from the runway, and it was all go, as Dozy ‘alfpenny and Sniffy decided to show off the fact that they were not too senile to run (yet!).

Soon, the second circle check was discovered, and the hashers stopped to let others catch up. All of 10 seconds later, everyone was present and the hash was followed off over the craggy ground. Yet more hash and yet another circle check, this one strewn with the bones of sheep. Off zoomed Dozy ‘alfpenny and Sniffy, with the rest trailing after.

The hash reached an unexpected twist when the FOURTH out of three circle checks was discovered. The person responsible for the slip-up merely chuckled “I lie!” still the hash proceeded to the mysterious and elusive Bird Cave letterbox. At this checkpoint, older hashers sat back and discussed the theory of the “geocache” that was found, while younger and more able persons crawled through the claustrophobic lava tunnel for which the location is famed.

At this point, TLTHoD announced an imaginary back-arrow, similar to the one that occurred last week during the Halloween hash. The hashers tripped back, completely ignoring the hash, and free styled towards the enticing scent of the booze.

After dilly-dallying for a while around the kegs, most of the hashers made their excuses and scooted off home.

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”                                                                                  Friedrich Nietzsche.

Next week: 4.30pm at Sandy Plain, North East Road (second building on the right as you go down to North East).

Bring a plate of eats

 Idle Trekkie