Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash 1434
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 01.11.2012 (Article Archived on 15.11.2012)

This week’s hash started from the Bullocks Pond turn off on the NASA road. As the crowd started to form, one of the first sound heard was the arrival of the local biker gang.

Hash No: 1434

Hares:  Dozy ‘alfpenny and Sniffy

Hounds: Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Idle Trekkie, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Hairy Leftovers, Hairy Hal, Hot Fuzz, Sgt. Slipper, Slip Away, Small Balls, Bum Ride, Bum Fluff, Scott  and The Last Turtle Head of Doom

Apres: BladeRunner

   This week’s hash started from the Bullocks Pond turn off on the NASA road. As the crowd started to form, one of the first sound heard was the arrival of the local biker gang. Knowing the reputation of Sniffy’s hashes the failure of the Two Boats crew and Bladerunner to show deepened the suspicion your intrepid hashers were in trouble. The Two Boats bus finally arrived, which goes to show that they really are not smarter than the rest of us.  Dozy ‘alfpenny gave the brief, 5 circle checks, 1 bar check, sharp rocks, limited hash, sheer drops, more sharp rocks, areas of extreme caution, sharp cactus and even more sharp rocks. The hashers were starting to sense a theme to this hash.

  The on-on sounded and the group was off, first heading to the Sugar Cubes and the legendary lost trail. This trail, discovered by the Scouts many years ago leads to the top of the Sugar Cubes, but is single file, with some tight squeezes between the rocks, especially for any hasher over 30! Upon reaching the top and the first circle check the path then swung north until it bisected the Bullocks Pond trail, which followed back around the edge of the Grazing Valley and back towards the cars. The less experienced hashers thought that this meant we were misled during the brief, but as we passed the cars, close enough to smell the beer,  heading for Mountain Red Hill, the realization that this was a father–daughter hare thing and proof that evil minded hash setting is heredity set in. Arriving at the bar check, the group split up searching for the 3 bar sign the showed the correct direction, with the older and wiser hasher’s allowing the younger hashers the privilege of discovering the 3 bars. At the point the trail crossed the road and continued past the dirt bike track, to the next circle check on a ridgeline looking out towards the runway. The absence of Bladerunner meant the sound of the mighty vuvuzela was left unheard. At this circle check the hares advised us to just follow the sheep, as the hash was getting smaller and smaller. For those few readers unfamiliar with Ascension sheep, they are untrustworthy critters who delight in leading humans astray, much like the hares in this story!

 Ignoring the sheep the younger hashers led us along a trail that cut into a small valley, with a  facing escarpment that is one of the better and less seen geological features on the island. The trail then led through a tunnel in the rocks, although the larger hashers found going around to be a little easier- and yes this includes the author. After some scrambling and rock climbing the group ended upon on the eastern side of the dirt bike track and from there it was a relatively easy stroll back to the vehicles, where Bladerunner made his appearance. The post hash was relatively quiet, mainly because the hash ladies had out done themselves with baked goods and the hashers are all too well trained to talk with their mouths full.

Thanks to Dozy ‘alfpenny and her trusty sidekick for setting another great hash! The time for next’s week’s hash is not a typo. Yes it is a night hash, bring a torch ( or flashlight for our US friends)

Next week:  19:00 IDL Beach Hut North East Bay- Halloween Fancy Dress Night Hash

Bring a torch

Hares: BladeRunner and his zombie minions

Bring a plate of eats 

    “Once wedded to Nature there is no divorce - separate her you may and hide yourself amongst the flesh-pots of London, but the wild will keep calling and calling forever in your ears. You cannot escape the little voices” - Frank Wild