Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash No: 1431
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 04.10.2012 (Article Archived on 18.10.2012)

Hashers were sceptical from the start of the hash, knowing that it probably had the lowest average age for the hares of any hash in history.

Hash no: 1431

Hares: Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal and Hairy leftovers

Hounds: Bladerunner, Soggy Boozer, Boozy Head, Bus Driver Over and Done With, Daddy Dough Balls, Tom Thumb, Small Balls, Hot Fuzz, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Mel, Sniffy, Louise, Chris, TLTHoD, Sooty, Beaver Diva and  Allo Gobby.

Hashers were sceptical from the start of the hash, knowing that it probably had the lowest average age for the hares of any hash in history. As they grouped at the “radar shack”, faces new, old, and just-haven’t-come-for-a-while turned up in their various cars.

After plentiful ado, the on-on was called going down the mountain road. The hash master showed a heart-warming display of leadership by chasing after a sheep and dashing off down the road, completely missing the first circle check. As it were, this was situated in front of Madagascar ramp. Hares were forced to lead the way, due to a serious lack of hound-to-hare trust.

Along the path the hashers gleefully trotted, making sheep and rabbits alike flee in terror. Eventually, the second circle check brought them to a stop just shy of Middleton. As the on-on was pointed towards the peak, some hares just couldn’t maintain their place, and did a hash dash off way ahead of anyone else; soon, however, a third circle check helped assemble everyone on the windy cliff top.

Views were admired and breaths caught before the motley convoy departed again- only to be brought to a hash crash by a back-arrow a few metres later. Some of the hares had to run off ahead to avoid a hash lash from the older and grumpier hounds.

The on-on continued past the previous circle check, going up the hill and chasing away stray sheep, who were most likely getting rather ticked off with the rowdy bunch that followed them everywhere. At the point of the fifth (or was it fourth?) circle check, the hash took an unexpected turn that even the senior hare advisor (one “Mrs Boozer”) couldn’t have expected. It seemed that some little goblin had changed the route of the hash, without telling even the other hares!

After a while, the circle was completed, and the hashers were greeted by a sixth (or was it fifth?) circle check. The Hairy Pair and Boozy Juniors were congratulated on an OK first hash. Food, drink and stories were shared, but many hashers set off early in the pursuit of a curry.

Next week: 4.30pm, Governor’s lodge, Cross Hill

 Hares: Over and Done With and Daddy Dough Balls

Bring a plate of eats/something for the barbecue

“A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.”

Walter Winchell