Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash No: 1426
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 30.08.2012 (Article Archived on 13.09.2012)

As the crowd grew in the parking lot of the Two Boats club, between the returning holiday crowd and newcomers, Herr Taff admitted he probably should have set a different hash.

Hare:  Herr Taff

Hounds: BladeRunner, Over-n-Done With, Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Idle Trekkie, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Hairy Leftovers, Sean, James, Darren, Kerry, Patrick, Tom Thumb, Dave, Jen, Ken and The Last Turtle Head of Doom

As the crowd grew in the parking lot of the Two Boats club, between the returning holiday crowd and newcomers, Herr Taff admitted he probably should have set a different hash. The brief was the usual Ascension hazards, sharp plants, steep hills, loose rocks, scree, and possible rabid sheep and with 4 circle checks. The on-on sounded, the younger hashers set off like a pack of dogs. The trail passed the new Conservation shade house, where Ascension’s endemic plant species are restored, across the cattle guard. It then cut into a small valley running around the base of Sisters. Climbing down lulled the newcomers into a false sense of security, they did not realize that on Ascension if you go downhill, you have to go back up hill sooner or later. Which they discovered after the first circle check and the trail started up, passing hobbit holes and other strange rock formations, continuing up to Ascension’s version of Stonehenge and up and up finally on to the cairn at the lower ridge below Sisters Peak. Here is where we found the hazard Herr Taff forgot to mention –high winds! The sound of the mighty vuvuzela proved to be not up to the beating the wind. The group also found that Herr Taff does not subscribe to the whole myth of German precision as we found our 5th circle check (there ended up being a total of 8!!)

Coming down the slope to the first flat bit, Tom Thumb, Dave, Jen and Ken opted to make a go for the Bat Cave letterbox, apparently Herr Taff had just not set a hard enough hash for them. The rest headed down the screed where some of Over-n-Done With’s comments had to be translated for the new hashers. After some dodging of Mexican Thorn, World War Two communications wire and other odd bits of the island, the group made it back to the road.

The post hash festivities moved to one of Two Boats patios, with the conversation (as usual) taking a couple of strange turns. Light Sabres, the Olympics, US election rules and the real use for the BBC wind farm were all covered in depth. The large police presence was explained, or at least blamed on TLTHoD. As the sun set and the rain came in the returning holiday-ers reminisced over the nicer weather they had left in the UK (not often do those words get said!). Thanks to Herr Taff for a great hash, that managed to get almost all the elements of hashing that Ascension is world famous for- he did miss the zombie rabbits.

I was asked what exactly a hash is. Modern hashing is dated from 1938 in Malaysia, started by  British expatriates, although some form of hashing can be dated back as early as 1868. There are currently over 1800 active hashing groups listed worldwide.   The hash is traditionally run, however, here on Ascension we mainly walk/hike. Simply put, there is a hare that sets a trail, on Ascension the trail is marked with shredded paper, which the hounds follow. The hounds have no idea where they are going, it can be a landmark or a hike through an interesting part of the island. After the hash there is a social activity with drinks and food. Since Ascension’s hash is family oriented the rumours of drunken debauchery are greatly exaggerated (much to my personnel disappointment). Remember “If you've half a mind to join the hash, that's all you need!"

Next week:  4.30pm- Arianne Site-North East Bay

Hares: BladeRunner

Bring a plate of eats