Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash No: 1405
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 05.04.2012 (Article Archived on 19.04.2012)

Another mountain starting point for the hashers this week, not really gate crashing but more a sharing with Janine and the Garden party.

Hare:  Old Golly Waddler

Hounds:  Herr Taff, Winnie the Poo, Sniffy, Drew with no name, Mucky Digger, Mucky Princess, Soggy Boulders, Wood ‘n’ Pecker,  Bladerunner, Spectacular Erection, Erection Inspector, Marlene, Argh Stoppit, Not Pinky Boo, No Idea, Harvs, Mike,  Roger, Lauren, Connor,  Skye, Linda and Dan

Another mountain starting point for the hashers this week, not really gate crashing but more a sharing with Janine and the Garden party. The cloud was down and visibility was limited which affected the route the hash was going to take.  There is really no point in walking a ridge unless you can actually see the ridge you are walking.

In the briefing, Golly managed to confuse everyone explaining that there was only one circle check but we would be visiting it three times.   The little people needed to miss out visit number two and the runners could look forward to visit number three.  Soggy Boulders just wanted to know if this was the week we would visit the Dewpond.  The others wanted to know who the visitors were (see next paragraph).

On-on up the road and to the Cattle Sheds, the erector couple (who were here in 2008 erecting and inspecting the windmills) remembered what it’s like to run Ascension, Roger and Harves just talked running at this stage promising to show what they were made of later.  The first circle check was found at the cattle sheds.  The little people hung around here while Linda and Dan got a head start on phase two of the hash setting off on the Dewpond path.  Hashmaster declared there are still no rules, the book must be awaiting publication!  All put their hands on hips just because we can.

Along the storage tanks, Herr Taff quite fancied one of the old (Falklands)  fuel storage tanks as a water bed and lay there, bouncing around as the hash stamped on.  Climbing up onto the water catchment above the cattle sheds, it was easy to lose the trail.  There were groans as the steep  slope towards Weather Garden was climbed.  High grass, low cloud and sunken hash added to the challenge.  The track meandered along the side of the ginger plantation, Erection Inspector tried running a while but slipped onto a gully of prickles, seasoned and local runner Sniffy tried overtaking with a nifty sidestep and sunk deep into a similar gully.  It was considered cruel to leave him there to the fate of the Asi cows but it did take two people to help pull him out.  The cow was heard today but not seen.

Down the ginger and onto Bishop’s path, a return in the direction of the catchment area, in the mist Uncle Fester could be heard ‘yehaaing’ (is it his ghost) but no one can quite capture that wild glee.  On returning to circle check (for the second time), Wood ‘n’ Pecker explained that Marlene and a whole class of kids had arrived late and set off along the ginger trail with Drew the sheep dog keeping them together.  At this point we also realised we were missing Mike, he must have taken a wrong turn in cloud along the way.  Bladerunner was sent to blow his vuvuzela to annoy and confuse people.   Most hashers set off up the next leg, the Dewpond bit while  the Van  Trotter family was found.  They could be heard but not seen.  Eventually cries of ‘return to the circle check’ were understood and they emerged out of the smoke with sighs of relief.  Marlene’s ‘I feel like a sheep’ moment over.  They had seen another man in a hat but he’d been going in the other direction.  Bladerunner and Wood ‘n’ Pecker bravely  set off once more into the mist  returning a little while later with the last of the lost sheep.

Dewpond.  The run and pull up the ramps was like a tourist path, everyone managed to gather round the pool talking pictures, Skye went for a paddle and Bladerunner went the wrong way…

Back at the circle check, the erecting couple still hadn’t done enough running for one afternoon so took the Elliott’s path home.  There’s only a short section now in need of clearing (well done to that thrasher and clearer), most others opted for the road back to the cottage. 

At Garden cottage, Janine had everything under control until the hashers emerged muddy and hungry down the steps under the bushes.  The kegs were cool and  the curry hot.  It took a while to assemble everyone ready for hash business.  Hashmaster eventually turned up, he’d encountered a mud slide connecting Dew Pond with Elliotts winning the dirty pants award of the day.  Dan and Linda made it just in time – for pudding.  Marlene and the girls had brought their boots to burn and a suitable place was found well away from the crowds and sausages.  With a little lighter fluid and a poking, a blaze was going.  All the best to ‘The Kings’ and their adventures, on-on to you all and we hope you’ll find hashing in the valleys.  Marlene wants renaming on her return! 

Back in the garden, the lights were dimming and an audience gathered anticipating Mike’s juggling show.  Balls of fire, knives and handcuffs (and he wants renaming?) featured in the show to much oohhing and argghing.  Cain wanted to know if he learnt to juggle while in prison?  No.

Thanks to Janine (and family) for sharing the venue this week.  And  thanks to Old Golly Waddler, never have so many hashers been lost in such a small area.  Yet they still say they knew where they were.

Next week’s hash is promised to be VERY family friendly and a bit educational, bring a hard boiled egg to roll for the hashy bunny.

Next week:  The geothermal caps on the track on the left beyond the Cable and Wireless earth station at the bottom of the NASA road.  Look for hash.

4.30pm                                                                                                                                     

Hares: Drew and Soggy Boulders                                                                                       OGW

Bring a plate of eats