Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1389
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 15.12.2011 (Article Archived on 29.12.2011)

Hashers were halted on their way down to the beach hut. Simply Indiscreet had started the hash half way down the North East Bay Road.

Hare:  Simply Indiscrete

Hounds: Blade Runner, Dip Stick, Wood-N-Pecker, Old Golly Waddler, Sporty Shortie, Short Change, Nerdy Head, Not Pinky Boo,  Argh Stoppit,  Mucky Princess, Mucky Digger, Bloodsucker.

Hashers were halted on their way down to the beach hut.  Simply Indiscreet had started the hash half way down the North East Bay Road.  Blade Runner did a quick trip to the beach to round up any strays and we were ready for the briefing.  Nerdy Head sighed in relief when told it was a relatively easy hash with only one climb up and one climb down, six (yes six!) circle checks, prickles  and would be easy for the little people!  Ha – don’t believe all the hare says!

The on-on was across the plains towards the gorge, trying to follow a scarce trail of hash.  Those walkers and talkers in their teen years kept forgetting to keep an eye out for the hash leading everyone astray.  Simply Indiscreet took the lead; ‘there must be hash around here somewhere’.  Sheep tracks crossed and followed, old hash confused with new eventually we found a valid circle check.  Argh Stoppit explained her exhausted poses as a method of avoiding sit ups; this girl shouldn’t appear tired after conquering the dewpond in winning time.  On on and upward. Were we really on our way to the residency?  From here the terrain became rockier and more gradient was encountered.  Steep slopes, some up and some down, dry river beds had to be crossed.  Simply Indiscreet didn’t offer everyone a lift down.  Mucky Digger charged on up the slopes sending loose rocks in every direction. 

At last a circle check was found on the Dampier’s track.  Needing a break to let the huffers and puffers catch up, Blade Runner got out his vuvuzela for a musical interlude.  Anyone in the vicinity of the mountain on Saturday afternoon must have heard the sounds of the horn echoing round and round Damier’s View.   And the on on?  Not back down Dampiers Track into Two Boats, Simply Indiscreet isn’t known for taking the easy route home.  At this point, rather than follow the ‘on-on’, Old Golly Waddler offered to take the little people back down the track to Two Boats.   Surprisingly, no one else offered to accompany her, where would Simply Indiscreet be taking them next, perhaps the sausages were seriously sizzling on the barbeque at the residency! 

ON on along the Dampiers road, onto Dampiers Drip finding  a circle check at the tanks.  This was so shortly followed by the cruellest backarrow , perhaps  even putting Bloodsucker’s backarrow into the  hashy history books.  Back not just to the previous circle check but right back to the starting point.  Such an event needed marking with more mournful blasts of Blade Runner’s vuvuzela.  

No time for meandering, on on and down into the valley.  The starting point could be seen in the far distance but for some there is no waiting.  When on the home trail, Dipstick heard a rumour that the beer was getting warm and ran off.  Blade runner headed off in the opposite direction, perhaps to conquer a few summits more than everyone else.  While Wood ‘n’ Pecker found more old paths to explore around and below the cottages.

Back at the kegs, the lack of girl guide qualifications didn’t deter the girls for getting the fire ablaze.  The only worry was that the bonfire would have burnt out before the Shorts made it to the end of their final Asi hash! 

Eventually, they all made it down the hill.  The Shorts threw a selection of smelly trainers and boots onto the fire.  Short Change insisted hers didn’t fit anymore and mum wouldn’t be annoyed.  Anyway Christmas is coming.  Shipwrecks were poured and a hearty on-on wished for the Shorts on their next (not so short) adventure.  Keep following those paths and we may meet again in some (exotic) location.  Eventually the embers died down and though the moon was still bright it was time to head back up the hills.

Next Week:  Old Golly Waddler

Donkey Plain (travellers side) 4.30  

Bring a plate of eats

OGW