Ascension : Hash Trash
Submitted by The Islander (Gavin Yon) 20.05.2004 (Article Archived on 03.06.2004)

A good crowd gathered at the Turtle Ponds, all wondering if we were heading off from there, or if buses were going to appear to whisk us away to another destination.

Hash No. 1004                         

May 14, 2004

Hares:  Old Croc & Goat

Hounds:  100 Watt, Mildew, Oh That Woman, Gumby, Bloodsucker, Budweiser Belly, Pirate, Chicken Hawk, Shaggy, Welsh Rabbit, Resus Andy, Miss Trunchbull, Limp Sausage, Baywatch Babe, Psycho Nuts, Skipper, Life Preservers, Bug Boy, Motor Mouth, Human Mattress, Predator, Puff Grannie, Frank’n’Furter, Chicken Licker, Morticia, Sue

Apres Hashers:  Miss Manage, Slack Bladder, Mr. Bubbles, Batman, Bart Simpson, Major, Jughead, Yeti, La Femme Fenomenal, Ellis, Heathcliff, Dolphin Diva, Rapunzel, Cinderella, Annette, Daniel, Ellie

A good crowd gathered at the Turtle Ponds, all wondering if we were heading off from there, or if buses were going to appear to whisk us away to another destination.  As the time got closer, and no vehicles appeared, it became clear to all that we were going to be treated to a local run.  Of course, any route could be in the plan, but we all knew that some climbing lay ahead for us!

After the usual warnings of everything from barbed wire to Mexican thorns, it was off up the road, across behind the beach, and off across the flats.  The first circle check allowed the slower ones to catch up with the FRB’s, who had taken quite a lead by then.  After that, a little bit more flat ground and then of course it started.  Off behind the old tanks, and then the easy bit was behind us.  Up, up, up we went, slogging through the klinka.  A few tried to make their climb easier by following in the footsteps of those who had gone before.  This just didn’t work out for the shorter among us! 

Eventually, we huffed and puffed our way to the top, into a nice welcome circle check..  We were promised that this was the end of the climbing by Goat, but of course, no one believed him.  And for good reason.  After a brief flat bit, the climbing started again!  The views were beautiful, however, if people could catch their breath long enough to appreciate them.

Then the scenic part of the hash began, as we toured through the old tanks behind Cross Hill, dodging barbed wire and other hazards as we went.  At one circle check, 100 Watt decided to test the integrity of the tank walls by hurling rocks at them.  Although a few others decided to assist him, no damage was done.  The distance was too far, and their aim too poor!

Soon, it was out to the road for a bit of a run.  The FRB’s soon left the others in the dust.  Then we turned off on the road to the guns, and finally to another circle check.  Then it was straight down the side of Cross Hill, being carefully not to slide into the gullies along the way.  A few of the hashers decided to take the easy route down by the old building.  Eventually, we all wandered back to the Turtle Ponds, where a few of the après hashers had the food almost ready.  A light sprinkle of rain didn’t dampen the spirits of the hashers, especially the little ones who had a great time playing on the beach, even rescuing a baby turtle.  A little kite flying added to the fun.  Sue managed to slip off before her naming ceremony, but we won’t forget!

All in all, a great hash, thanks to Goat & Old Croc!

Next week: the hash will be cancelled due to the Ascension Day Fair.  The week after, the hares will be 100 Watt & Psycho Nuts.  The location will be announced at a later date.