Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1354
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 07.04.2011 (Article Archived on 21.04.2011)

The crew met at the windmills, looking good sporting bright red new T shirts, some wearing more vintage hash t shirts (Sniffy seems to have the largest range of hash shirts over the years).

Hares:  Uncle Fester, Lab Rat, Almost a Jarhead

Hounds:   Boy Racer, Bloodsucker, Tom thumb, John, No Idea, Hash Howler, Man Beater, Norwich  Boobie,  Sniffy, Mucky Princess, Mucky Digger,  Secret Squirrel,  Blade Runner, Dr Livingstone, Danger mouse,  Wood ‘n’ Pecker,  Herr Bitch Motor, Herr Roman Runner, Old Golly Waddler, Lady go Diver, Goat Chaser

The crew met at the windmills, looking good sporting  bright  red new  T shirts,  some wearing more vintage hash t shirts (Sniffy seems to have the largest range of hash shirts over the years).  The hazards were explained as mainly boulders, Klinka and bumps to the head.  Some had brought torches to avoid the bumps n the dark but which deep dark holes were we to be exploring this week? 

There was a short explanation given about the starting point for those slower walkers who may want to DRIVE to the third circle check.  What do you think we are?  The on – on  was called down the track and we were told that famous third circle check would be found at the booby turn.  The first circle check found old rules quickly being reinforced by the Hash master.  Herr Bitch Motor found himself doing press ups while everybody slowly counted to ten (show off).  At the second circle check, it was Dr Livingstone who showed off his physique clapping between his forfeit of push ups. 

The third circle check gave time for some hashers to explore the hornitos,  nobody had the inclination to crawl through the tight tunnel between the holes today.  On – on!   At this point the group were joined by Lady go Diver and the boys.  They’d arrived late and decided to have a short leisurely stroll yet found themselves taking short cuts and running across klinka to catch up.

At the fourth circle check, Uncle Fester pointed out the strategic cairns to lead the way across the klinka towards…bird cave.  Some investigated the geocashe, others the new stamper, most went down the dusty tunnel (watch out for the stalactites) while Wood ‘n’ Pecker found a cave of his own to explore. 

Hashing is not a sightseeing  tour, the on-on was up and over the Klinka (more wobbly rocks).  Poor No Idea found out exactly how it feels to fall onto the sharp bits (more than once) but refused to let anyone see the bruises.  There was no way to avoid he flies, Phil and Tom Thumb were more infested than some. 

Memories of how we had to hash back to the windmills in the dark (and rain) once before were worryingly recounted and the back laggers had to up their pace.  As usual the kids ran ahead leaving the adults looking as if they were holding everyone else up all along. 

Back at the windmills and down to hash business.  A drink was had to Marlene’s health.  That’s one desperate way of getting out of setting the hash!  All the best and hope the bruising is healing. 

The circle of friendship was drawn and Victor was put into the middle.  Victor is here to service the pitch motors on the windmills.  Due to the nature and location of the motors, they are generally not named as such,  so Victor was soaked to the shouts of his new name, ‘Herr Bitch Motor’.   Colleague Michael  closely escaped being ‘Herr Bitch Motor Two’.  Due to his parentage and love for the spiced rum, he is now ‘Herr Roman Rummer’.  The lads will be leaving at the weekend but well be frequenting the island in the future.

A small fire was lit for Norwich Booby, she needed her boots, trainers , hair band, socks and all items of her attire for her next placement but did donate a small part of her boot sole for burning.  On – on Norwich Boobie, all the best in your next venture.

There was plenty to tuck into, Bloodsucker had brought a delicious chilli to fill those growling stomachs.  Chat, beer and reminiscing lasted until the fire had gone out and the stars were shining.  Not many places in the world where the Southern Cross and the Plough can be seen from the same place.