Ascension : Hash Trash No: 1140
Submitted by The Islander (Nathan Prince) 18.01.2007 (Article Archived on 01.02.2007)

How could Uncle Fester and gang follow last week’s hash? There was only one way – get the ropes out again!

Hares: Twin Cheeks, Uncle Fester, Wild Bill Cock

Hounds: Little Crisis, Cockroach, Irish Whisky, Mildew, Whiskey Chaser, Kerb Crawler, Two Cocks, Rat Catcher, Fugitive, Yeti, Bob the Builder, Sam, Buford T, 100 Watt, Still Boss’s Toy Boy, Twig Meister,

Scooter, Bogs and Drains, Corporal Spam, Eat My Shorts, Chief Pimp, Morticia, Huff n Puff, Miles, Anne, Steve, Foxy, Walkie Talkie, Marko, Choo Choo, Puff Grannie, Tim, The Head Mistress

Apres – Pimp My Ride, Ollie, Danny, Gumby Two Scoops, Bloodsucker, Papa, Amber, Chelsea

(Apologies for anyone who was missed out or whose names are incorrect)

With several new comers amongst us the usual hazard warnings were given and it was with a sense of relief that this might be an easy hash that we set off.  We knew there were a couple of back arrows and a bar check or two to be faced but we did so smiling.  The on-on was down the hill from the car park and we knew that what goes down must come up.  And it did – much sooner than anticipated we were all heading back up past the car park as there was a back arrow!  Very sneaky of the hares to put one in so early.

The mist was down and so the views over the airhead were non-existent and there was some confusion over whether we were indeed facing Breakneck Valley or if that was somewhere over the rainbow – WBC wasn’t too sure.  At the bar check we sent out scouts and the on-on was up the hill again over the rough ground.  Maybe this wouldn’t be such a walk in the park after all!  At the top the on-on was through the ginger trees coming out onto the water catchment area and yes you guessed it – overlooking Breakneck Valley!!!

A good bimble along Elliots for a short way was followed by a particularly tricky downhill tumble for many through the trees (some uprooted very easily as they were grabbed in desperation!) and onto Ruperts.  To quote Twig Meister, ‘Daddeeeeee!  Yaaaaa, Eeeee, Ohhhhh.  Don’t hold me ‘cos if you fall so will I!’  This was a true challenge for all those new to hashing and we promised them it wasn’t always this tricky!!!  Tee hee hee!  Little did we know it was about to get even more tricky.  A favourite of all hashers (well maybe not!) is Banana Ravine and there to greet us was the trusty purple rope which Uncle fester promised was able to hold everyone’s weight.

Buford T did his Good Guy bit and helped Mildew down the steep steps as 100 Watt had disappeared into the distance.  Good deed done he then tried to bowl over several others by throwing himself bodily down the raving narrowly missing The Head Mistress who dived for the side.  Puff Grannie tried the dominoe effect on Morticia whilst Wild Bill Cock stopped Huff n Puff from sliding all the way down.  The rest of the gang either laughed or cried their way down.  Famous last words of Chief Pimp were, ‘I hope I don’t go too far and miss the turning this time.’  Unknown to those following the runners the back arrow had been scuffed up.  Oh - What’s that?  The runners didn’t see it either?  Poor souls!  They headed on-on and down-down to the very bottom whilst the next group were lucky enough to only miss the turn by 100ft and could easily climb back up to it.  The path along Cronks was a real pleasure after the obstacles we’d faced so far.

From down in the valley we heard the voices of the runners, and indeed some of the walkers who had been faster and then we saw them far in the distance like toytown figures!  Poor Chief Pimp was amongst them having gone too far down again!  For possibly the first time in hashing history here on Ascension the walkers and talkers made it back before the runners!  We wondered which path they would take to get back up?  The road?  Zig Zag?  Truth is it was a mixture, but everyone finally made it back in one piece.  Well - all except new comers Steve, Foxy, Buford T and Eat My Shorts.  What could have happened to them?  It seems eat My Shorts had sustained an injury and had to be helped along albeit very slowly.  Last through the gate was a very tired looking Buford T who literally crawled in on his hands and knees and begged for sustenance.

The circle of friendship was drawn and Sam invited to step inside.  After a few names it was agreed that he should be Fondle My Eggs – a reference to his work with the turtles apparently!

Attention was soon turned to the refreshments which featured heaps of fish of all varieties, BBQ and so on.  The Captain sustained a fair few knock backs and at least two lots of reinforcements were called for.  The party rumbled on late into the night with lots of laughter and Buford T and 100 Watt singing arm in arm that they were getting married in the morning.  Not too sure what Mildew would say to that but they did make a handsome pair!

Thanks Uncle Fester, Twin Cheeks and Wild Bill for a great hash and to Huff n Puff for her superb culinary skills once again!  Your wasabi is to die for!

Next Week – Picnic Bench at Middleton’s Path

Hares – Morticia, Puff Grannie, Fugitive

Please bring a plate of eats.

FOUND after the hash on Saturday – a grey tee shirt XXL size on the road to the Red Lion.  Please contact Soo on 6155 if it belongs to you.