Ascension : Hash No: 1091
Submitted by The Islander (Jacqui Ellick) 09.02.2006 (Article Archived on 16.02.2006)

Since Rhesus Andy decided to get out of setting the hash by leaving the island on short notice, it fell to the next volunteers, Gumby-Two Scoops and Bloodsucker to step in and plan the hash

Hash No:  1091

Hares:  Gumby-Two Scoops & Bloodsucker

Hounds:  Old Goat, Goat, Oh That Woman, Choo Choo, Cabin Boy, Miss Piggy, Septic Peg, Hash Banana,  Fugitive, Yeti, Hanky Spanky, Winnie, Stephen, Greased Lightning, Wild Bill Cock, Rip Van Twinkle Toes, Slippery Sue, Psycho Nuts, Going Down, GoGoGadget, Uncle Fester, Voodoo Doll, Walkie Talkie, Lady Pooh, Short’n’Sweet, Moana Lisa, HandJob, Tristan, Matthew, Neil, Helen, Vince, Little Mermaid, Buttercup, Mr. Bojangles, Bogs and Drains, Corporal Spam, Eat My Shorts, Pippi Longstocking, Hash Head, Mr. Potato Head, Obelix

Apres Hashers:  The Major, Hoochie Mama

                Since Rhesus Andy decided to get out of setting the hash by leaving the island on short notice, it fell to the next volunteers, Gumby-Two Scoops and Bloodsucker to step in and plan the hash.  Of course, since it wasn’t the starting point they had planned, they were a little discombobulated, but managed to get the job done in time!

                Everyone gathered near the windmills.  There was a good crowd, with some visitors braving the hash as well.  The usual hazards, Mexican Thorn, cactus, loose footing were mentioned, as well as barbed wire.  This warning went unheeded by a few souls, obviously, but more about that later!  There was also the ominous warning of a sharp drop-off, with the advice to keep a good handle on the little ones.

                Then it was on-on, out to the road and up to the base of the windmills.  The first circle check was found pretty quickly, so everyone had a chance to catch their breath after the first little climb; just a hint of things to come!  After that it was on-on down across the rocky field.  When asked if this constituted the scrambly bit, the hares just laughed!  When the first bunch of hounds made it to the bottom of the hill, and were actually following the hash, Winnie managed to be the first to get caught up in the barbed wire, although we’re told it wasn’t entirely her fault.  Seems Gumby-Two Scoops somehow had a hand in the incident.  Further proof you can never trust a hare!

                The rest unwittingly, although perhaps more safely, took a bit of a detour, a shortcut to the road by which they avoided the barbed wire.  Little did they know there was more ahead!  Soon, the circle check was discovered and everyone enjoyed their rest while nervously eyeing the different hills in the vicinity!  Sure enough, the on-on headed in the direction of the steep red hill.  But, not before another dive through the barbed wire.  Obviously Rip Van Twinkle Toes hadn’t been paying much attention to the warning either.  She tripped herself up, and landed painfully on several strands.  As the FRBs bounded their way to the top of the hill and the rest of the group huffed and puffed their way up, Bloodsucker patched up Miss Not So Twinkle Toes, and off they scrambled to catch up.  Halfway up, the injured party decided to head back down and wait, while Moana Lisa, always looking for a good reason to cut out, ever so kindly offered to keep her company!

                At the top of the hill, the warning of an upcoming steep drop-off was given again, and the slide down the back side of the hill started.  A number of hashers lost their footing on the rolly bits, and fell, including Walkie Talkie, but then again, considering he had duct tape holding his shoe together, what did he expect??!!  GoGoGadget led a few on what looked to be an easier route, and eventually everyone arrived at the end of the road.  With the steep drop looming in front of them, it was a careful crawl across the side of the cliff until we reached the little cave and a safer bit to scramble down.  Then it was an easy stretch back to the repeat circle check!

                By this time, the FRB’s had already headed out with Gumby-Two Scoops, having been advised that they had a bit of a detour!  Off they went along the road, while the rest took the first right turn and headed up the hill for home!  The runners continued on for quite a stretch until running into a back arrow.  Not really a nasty back arrow since the alternative would have taken them on a long, long road home!!

                Everyone reached the vehicles at about the same time.  The Major had kindly started the barbecue so it wasn’t long before the burgers and dogs were ready!  To tide us over, Miss Piggy supplied us with some sandwiches, although they’d gotten a bit squished on their voyage to the hash, but nobody minded putting them out of their misery!

                Although there were a couple of sorry souls overdue to be named, they decided to wait until they could make it a family affair.  Do they realize that only gives us more time to come up with even better (?!) names??  Helen, a first time hasher, was accused of paying a visit to the deceased sheep in the distance when she donned her vest…she must really have been cold!  After that, the bar was opened and the party continued on for quite a while.

                Thanks to the hares for a good hash.

Next week:  Blue Oyster Beach Hut (Northeast Bay – Old Turner’s Hut)

Hares:  Short’n’Sweet, Yeti & Fugitive

Please bring a plate!!