Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1078
Submitted by The Islander (Gavin Yon) 03.11.2005 (Article Archived on 17.11.2005)

A good crowd of hashers, including a few returnees after lengthy leaves, gathered at the Scout’s Beach Hut on Long Beach, ready to head off on a hash the hares had let slip was moderate to difficult.

Hash No. 1078

Hares:  Puff Grannie, Morticia & Skipper

Hounds:  Lady Pooh, Bloodsucker, Gumby-Two Scoops, Forrest Gump, Becky, Wild Bill Cock, Deputy Dawg, Oh That Woman, Rip Van Twinkle Toes, Buttercup, Walkie Talkie, Fugitive, Uncle Fester, Voodoo Doll, Hairspray, Septic Peg, Hash Banana, Greased Lightning, Arty Farty, Little Mermaid, Miss Piggy, 100 Watt, Mildew, Going Down, Wallace, Grommit, Chief Pimp, Hash Puppies, Rhesus Andy, Scarface, Easy Rider, Cycopath, Sid, John, Andrew, Whatever

Apres Hashers:  GoGo Gadget, Mr. Potato Head, Sue, Doreen, Kim, Danny & our newest hasher, Oliver

                A good crowd of hashers, including a few returnees after lengthy leaves, gathered at the Scout’s Beach Hut on Long Beach, ready to head off on a hash the hares had let slip was moderate to difficult.  Apparently they hadn’t quite got their stories straight about the back arrows.  After the usual warnings about the usual Ascension hazards, with the addition of low pipelines, it was on-on across Long Beach.  A few of the hashers’ feet almost got caught by the rather large waves that were crashing ashore, sneaking up the sand!

                Finally, after plowing through the sand for what seemed like forever, we made it to the Turtle Ponds, and our first circle check.  Seems Becky had a bit of insider knowledge and knew how to avoid the sand.  After a brief respite, it was on-on towards the pierhead and along the pipeline.  Closer to White Ant Villa, we started an uphill climb along and under the pipeline.  It seems that the hares should have warned that it was a double pipeline, when someone ducked under the first and then came straight up into the second! 

                It seemed as if we were going to follow the coastline forever when we made another sandy trek along Deadman’s Beach, and then on to Catherine Pt.  At this point, the runners again hit the beach, while the rest took the track up a ways to the main road.  At this point we were reassured, although not for the first time, that we were almost half-ways!!  Then it was off across the open territory, with the warning to stick close to the hash as we traversed through the really tough lava rocks strewn about.  Of course, the first thing that happened was when the hare who had uttered the warning, led us astray!! 

                Eventually, and with a few slips and falls (the difference is that it’s not a fall unless the butt makes contact with the ground!) we all made it across the rough terrain, and were faced with a rather sharp climb to the road.  Thankfully 100 Watt and Forrest Gump were there to haul the ladies up the last few feet.  At this time, a radio went off, and Dr. Becky was called back to the hospital.  The rest of the weary hashers figured that this was a pre-arranged call she had set up, in order to escape the never ending walk!

                Next it was along the tack to the cannons, although the hares allowed the FRBs to head off up the road for a bit first until they called them back!  They still had a good run to the next circle check.  At that point, the thought of cool refreshments got the better of a few and they kept on going.  The rest followed, slipping and sliding down the hill, right into the old rubbish dump.  Picking our way carefully through the broken bottles we found ourselves on the edge of the soccer pitch.  From there it was straight on to home!!

                As everyone dug into the cool drinks and great food, Wild Bill Cock thanked the hares for their “amazingly, wonderfully long hash”!!  Skipper is lucky he hadn’t mentioned the “we’re almost half way there” statement one more time.  It might have gotten ugly!!  Really, though, it was a great hash – a good workout for the folks who’d been away from it for a while.  Of course, Hairspray found it a little more difficult then normal, considering that he’d burnt his hash boots last week.  He and a couple of others, Sid, John & Andrew, made a rather quick getaway, to check in to the plane that finally arrived.  Nice to have had you part of the crew for a while!

                As soon as everyone was refreshed, it was time to draw the circle of friendship once more.  Lauren was welcomed to the world of hashing, and christened (with a little help from Mom!) as Whatever!!  Glad to have you along!! 

                The party continued until the mossies threatened to carry everyone away!  Thanks to the hares, Morticia, Skipper & Puff Grannie for giving us a long tour of the island.  Great hash, folks!

Next Week:  CSO One Boat

Hares:  Rhesus Andy & Mal

Please bring a plate.  Everyone will be departing early in order to celebrate “Guy Fawkes Day” and the annual bonfire!!