Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No:1074
Submitted by The Islander (Gavin Yon) 06.10.2005 (Article Archived on 20.10.2005)

Lots of hashers gathered at the Two Boats Club, the rumours of a really tough hash making the rounds.

Hares:  Major & Goat

Hounds:  100 Watt, Gumby-Two Scoops, Wild Bill Cock, Short’n’Sweet, Hairspray, Dog End, Walkie Talkie, Skipper, Morticia, Mike, Puff Grannie, Woodswrecker, Hand Job, Monkey Spanker, LSP, Rhesus Andy, Grommitt, Wallace, Bakewell Tart, Jenny, Bondage, Going Down, GoGo Gadget, Voodoo Doll, Rip Van Twinkle Toes, Fugitive, Becky, Georgia, Abby, Girly Girl, Hash Bananas, Lucy Lastic, Hash Dash, Scarface, Hanky Spanky, Uncle Fester, Bloodsucker, Shirley, Stan

Apres Hashers:  Miss Piggy, Septic Peg, TwigMeister, Cinderella, Frogmella, Oh That Woman, Lily, Hoochie Mama, Moana Lisa

            Lots of hashers gathered at the Two Boats Club, the rumours of a really tough hash making the rounds.  A few of the younger hashers decided to stay behind as the rest piled into the buses and headed down the Northeast Bay Road.  On-on we drove, the groans getting louder, until we finally stopped near the end.  Major mentioned all the usual hazards, and a few special ones.  For the FRB’s, a long detour, and for the rest a couple of rather steep bits.  Although the hashers were given the choice of a leisurely stroll back up the 2.2 mile roadway, no one wimped out.

 The runners disappeared down the road, while the others headed into their first miss-step.  We were soon rerouted in the other direction and it wasn’t long before the first treacherous bit was discovered.  It was a steep climb down a rocky cliff edge.  The first circle check at the bottom gave the slower climbers a chance to catch up, although the noises from the kids so far down was a bit discouraging for those who still had the descent to conquer!

A bit up another ravine, and yet another slippery slope to climb down.  At the next circle check, we looked down the ravine to see some FRB’s running towards us.  They had had a rather long run, while the walkers had the tricky climbs!  After this circle check, it was on-on through Death Valley.  Hash Dash insisted on jumping on anything that would crack, especially crab skeletons.  The climb up the valley, constantly overcoming nature’s lumpy obstacles, was long and arduous, but we all survived.

When we finally made it back to the road, the FRB’s were diverted again, straight up the cliff – and straight into a back arrow!!  By the time they returned, Hanky Spanky had suffered a slip, and left a rather significant amount of her skin behind on the rocks!!  Then, the FRB’s found the true diversion route and had a good run around the off road tracks!  For the rest, it was a somewhat leisurely stroll up the road, if you don’t count the nasty hill at the end. 

A tired, thirsty, and hungry group eventually arrived back at Two Boats Club.  The bar was open, and the kids amused themselves with a rather strange variation of Skittles.  Before too long, a great buffet was served, and everyone tucked in thankfully.  Major insisted that seconds were in order, which was fine with most of the folks!! 

Major, it was a great hash, and a great evening.  Thanks for the challenge, and the reward!!  Thanks also to the folks at Two Boats Club for the great food.  A great time was had by all!!

Next Week:  PanAm Beach Hut

Hares:  Wild Bill Cock & Stan (think up names hounds!!)

Please bring a plate