Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1063
Submitted by The Islander (Gavin Yon) 14.07.2005 (Article Archived on 28.07.2005)

A pretty big crowd turned up at the patio for what they apparently thought was going to be a “girly” hash, considering that two of the hares were sorry souls.

Hash No:  1063

Hares:  Bloodsucker, Voodoo Doll & Theasoreass

Hounds:  Predator, Luis, Penny, Woodswrecker, Resus Andy, The Filth, Miss Piggy, Hash Banana, Septic Peg, Yeti, Easy Rider, Cycopath, Wallace, Grommit, Choo Choo, Colonel Klinka, 100 Watt, Mildew, Bosses Toy Boy, Puff Grannie, Lucy Lastic, TwigMeister, The Fugitive, Scarface, Welsh Rabbit, Dimba Dimba, Big Breaths, Cinderella, Twinkle Star, PsychoNuts, Slippery Sue, Penguin, DogEnd, Eric, Marie, Bill, Old Croc, Space Princess, Psycho Piggy, Rugger Bugger (hope we got everyone!)

Apres Hasher:  La Femme Fenomenal, Hoochie Mama, Moana Lisa, HandJob, Hiep

            A pretty big crowd turned up at the patio for what they apparently thought was going to be a “girly” hash, considering that two of the hares were sorry souls.  After the warnings of a slippery bit, a big hole, and just a few “ups” the on-on took the hounds out towards the main road.  Right away, the runners headed off on their own trail, up the hill, and then around Red Hill.  The walkers had a more sedate trek along the fence.  At the bottom of the hill, they found a rather large hole that they had to maneuver around to get to the first circle check.

            After a brief rest, it was decided that the walkers shouldn’t wait for the runners, and on-on it was up the hill.  Ever hopeful of a back arrow, none was to be found, and the hounds huffed and puffed their way all the way to the top!  The runners (well, most at least) eventually proceeded up the hill as well, a few taking a bit of a shortcut trying to catch up with the rest of the crowd.

            The views from the top were well worth the climb (although a few might dispute that point, including one sorry soul who awarded the hares with a certain hand gesture at the top – seems he was too out of breath to say anything!), and everyone had a good rest waiting for the knitting circle to make it to the top.  Then it was on-on back down the hill.  The more adventurous among the hounds took the shortcut down, while the rest returned on the track.  At the bottom, Old Croc commented that the two sorry souls who helped set the hash might have been a little more careful about their choice of routes considering that they were to be named today!!

            Despite 100 Watt’s belief that it was now time to return to the patio, the on-on led in the opposite direction.  This hash had only just begun!!  It was across in front of the houses, across the road, and a turn to follow the fence line.  A few of the runners seemed to be running out of steam, and were seen joining the walkers.  Another circle check, and then on-on still along the fenceline, across the pipeline, and again along the fence (although it seems that the FRB’s couldn’t find the hash and ended up on the other side of the fence – no matter, since the fence ended shortly!) to the end of the klinka track. 

            After that, it was overland on a scrambly bit down to the bottom of the hill, and over to the beach hut.  Water awaited the weary hounds who were starting to place bets on whether this would be a record breaking hash time wise!!  Refreshed, the runners took off early, with the promise of one last diversion ahead.  The rest of the walkers followed, with Mildew and Bloodsucker attempting (for a little while at least) to be considered FRB’s!  Along the road it was to another pipeline and then up one last bit to the road.  Then it was across behind the motor pool, up the track a bit, and then overland to the patio.

            It seems that only two FRB’s, Rugger Bugger and a brand new sorry soul, Eric, were tough enough to brave the last runners bit up to the tanks and out to the main road and back.  Apparently for the rest, they’d had enough.  The thought of cool refreshments was just too tempting for the others.  Eventually all arrived back, tired and thirsty.  A barbecue was soon going, and the hungry hashers all dug in to the great grub. 

            The circle of friendship was drawn and three sorry souls were welcomed into the group.  Georgina, one of the junior hashers, was brave and allowed the group to pick her name.  She is now Space Princess, and even had the full christening treatment.  Well done!!  Then it was the two hares turn.  Nervously, they stepped in to the circle and awaited their fate.  Despite Old Croc’s hillside suggestions, dollmaker Mary will now be forever known as Voodoo Doll, while Penny, a librarian in another life, has been renamed Theasoreass.  Welcome to the Ascension hashers, all three of you!!

            Goodbyes also had to be said.  Theosoreass is leaving, but we admire her spirit!!  Colonel Klinka is moving on as well.  Farewell, and thanks for being a great part of our group!!  A boot-burning ceremony was conducted, and 100 Watt managed to create a great fire, as usual.  Farewell to both, and hope to see you back some day!!

            After that, the party continued with the usual appearance of the Cavaliers.  Great hash Voodoo Doll, Theasoreass & Bloodsucker.  Never trust three ladies setting the hash; they just might surprise you!!  Special thanks to the consultant, Fugitive, for all his help with the hash and the food!

Next Week:  Garden Cottage, Green Mountain (stay the night!!)

Hares:  Fugitive, Yeti & 100 Watt (we can hear the groans already!!)