Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1049
Submitted by The Islander (Gavin Yon) 07.04.2005 (Article Archived on 21.04.2005)

A large crowd gathered by the CSO parking area, ready for Hash Puppies and Hoochie Mama’s first hash

Hash No:  1049

Hares:  Hoochie Mama, Hash Puppies & Major

Hounds:  Yeti, Mildew, Little Miss Naughty, Great Balls of Fire, Deputy Dawg, Welsh Rabbit, Scarface, Rhesus Andy, Going Down, GoGo Gadget, Psycho Nuts, Blue Newfie, Uncle Fester, Fugitive, Gumby, Bloodsucker, Heathcliff, Hanky Spanky, Hand Job, Colonel Klinka, La Femme Fenomenal, Glitter Girl, Miss Piggy, Septic Peg, J. Edgar, Claire, Darren, Andy, Russell, Elliott, Lawrence, Karen, Choo Choo, Dog End, Lucy Lastic, Twig Meister, Greasy Pole, Shrek

Apres Hashers:  Oh That Woman, Frogmella, Al, Squeaky Clean, Twinkle Star, Dimba Dimba

            A large crowd gathered by the CSO parking area, ready for Hash Puppies and Hoochie Mama’s first hash.  Considering they had the able assistance of the Major, everyone was sure they had laid on a difficult one.  With Sister’s Peak looming in one direction, and Green Mountain in another, there were a lot of worried looks amongst the hounds!  The warnings consisted of slippery rocks, cactus, and lots and lots of ups!  Then it was on-on, over the cattle grate and off towards Sister’s.

            As a few of the FRB’s headed up the Sister’s path, the groans could be heard.  Very quickly, they came running back down, having met a back arrow.  The sighs of relief could be heard around the island.  A little ways farther down the road, the route diverged, with the FRB’s heading straight over the embankment!  They slid down in a cloud of dust and were last seen heading for the craters.  The walkers continued their leisurely stroll down the road until we got to the generator hut.

            A brief pause, as we waited for all the runners to emerge from the firing range road, followed.  Then it was on-on across the flat stretch.  All found their way over the fence: some climbed while some took the easy route and climbed up on the culvert and jumped while a few friendly guys held the wires down, at great risk to themselves!  Then it was off through the gullies, a slow upwards climb while we discussed how we might be heading for the old dump behind Two Boats club.  Memories of a previous hash returned to haunt a couple of people. 

            When we realized that we were about to head up the long hill, the dump route started to look good!  What followed was a long, steady (and slow, for some!) climb to the top of the hill.  It’s a long way from the Northeast Bay Road to the crest of the hill behind Two Boats.  Everyone finally made it, and slid down the slippery approach to the old building by the Two Boats!  Lots of photo ops while the majority of the hounds waited for a few slow ones.  At this point, it was decided by Mildew that the route home was the shortest.  She had no shortage of volunteers to accompany her as most of the kids decided that enough was enough!

            But, enough was not enough for the rest, and it was discovered that the hares had another surprise in store for the pack.  Up we climbed again along the old road to the intersection of the Dampier’s Drip path.  The second last circle check awaited.  Then, it was a clamber up the rocky slope to the path and straight along to the Green Mountain Road where a bar check was located.  This, however, was a real bar check, with welcome and well-appreciated refreshments!  A nice reward for a tough hash not yet over! 

            After that, it was downhill all the way.  The FRB’s were directed uphill for a bit, and then told to follow the power lines until Pole 15.  Apparently some can’t read, or were going way to fast to see, but they made a turn at Pole 13, and headed off in their own direction.  I guess the sight of the finish line was too much for them, as they blazed their own trail the rest of the way.  The slower among us followed the hash, and dutifully followed the trail back to Two Boats, and Hash Puppies patio!

            It was a special celebration for Hash Puppies as it was her birthday, and a celebration followed.  The circle of friendship was drawn, and four sorry souls were welcomed into the world of hashdom.  Jim has been rechristened Greasy Pole and Mandy is now known as Choo Choo.  Lucy will be forever known as Lucy Lastic, and Nicola is the Twig Meister.  A big welcome to all of you from the Ascension Hash House Harriers.

            The partying continued on well into the evening, with rumours of a few strange events, including an interesting good-bye kiss.  No names mentioned but I guess a birthday girl is entitled to a few indulgences!  Happy birthday to Hash Puppies and hope you had fun celebrating with all your hash buddies!  You girls did a great job on the hash, but of course, you’ve learned from a master!!  Thanks for a great hash, great party and great time!

Next Week:  Turtle Ponds, Georgetown

Hares:  Little Miss Naughty & Miss Piggy

PS My apologies for messing up Little Miss Naughty’s name the last few weeks!